tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68547063082467154542024-03-08T09:31:50.117+01:00A Mission Beyond Myself"Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day" Psalm 96:2Sarah Normannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054169787408572410noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-88706551255646218182016-08-01T17:43:00.000+02:002016-08-01T17:50:52.465+02:00How to be Healthy The other day I decided to go on a run in the rain. While I was out there, breathing in the fresh scents of the trees, feeling the water droplets on my face, and hearing my own breath - I felt alive. I ran past another runner on the trail of the lake, and we both smiled at each other, as if to share in this mutual feeling of joy that comes from running in the rain. That previous morning, I had enjoyed a sweet time of encouragement with the Lord. Though the situation we face is a difficult one right now, in my time of stillness before Him, I felt overwhelmed by his great love and encouragement.<br />
<br />
I realized that day how the Lord has taught me quite a lot about what it means to be "healthy." And I guess, I feel compelled to write this because I believe there is so much falseness out there for what it means to be defined as a healthy person. There is this subculture arising that is obsessed with extreme exercise and dieting. So I thought I would write this post, about what I believe the Lord is revealing to me of what it means, actually, to be healthy - READ: NOT skinny, NOT muscular, NOT anything overly focused on the physical, but some ways in which He changes our inner being. The habits we can choose to increase His influence in our lives and decrease the negative impact of certain things in the world. In Ephesians, the Lord encourages us to <i>"Be very careful then how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."</i> (5:15-17)<br />
<br />
So here are a few things/habits I have adopted or removed over the past couple of years to be more careful with how I live, to make the most of every opportunity, and to better understand the will of the Lord (by the guidance of the Spirit!). May this help you to think of your own habits and encourage you to be more proactive on examining your life. So that you can make decisions that will strengthen your wisdom and faith in the Lord.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">5 Ways to be Healthy:</span><br />
<br />
<b>1. Do not think about being "healthy!"</b><br />
<br />
What do I mean by this? Well basically, just what it says... don't THINK so much! Now, this is something I want to learn more, definitely. But I do believe this health-obsessed culture is quite <i>un-healthy</i> actually! We are human beings who were created to work hard, to eat and be satisfied, to let our bodies rest. I really believe obsessive thoughts on being healthy hinders most people from actually becoming healthy! Much of who we are starts with who we are in our hearts and minds. If our mind is preoccupied with thoughts of working out, being healthy, denying ourself such and such food - sooner or later we will be simply exhausted. I know this from experience, friends. Worse yet, if our <b>hearts </b>focus on our bodies and this physical world alone, we will end up quite <i>empty</i>. That can lead to a myriad of other things. So instead - please, think and allow your heart to be preoccupied with things of greater value.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God" Colossians 3:1-3 </i></div>
</div>
<br />
<b>2. Commit to prayer</b><br />
<br />
There is really not any other way to a "healthy" lifestyle than to commit yourself to talk with the Lord. This is obviously directed to brothers and sisters in Christ. However, I say this because I know there are many followers of God who can easily get sucked into thinking exactly the same as non-believers, and I believe that is very un-healthy! For the church to think and live life exactly as the world does, but only with a Christian cap on, misses the point completely. We ought not think as the world thinks, and our eyes should be focused upwards as we live our lives. I think some have misunderstood the line of "Well I am not of the world, but I am still in it!" and use it as an excuse to allow the Narrow Way to be just a bit wider. Let us not be like this! Let us be <i>real</i> and <i>true.</i> Let us be people who commit to pray to the Lord and allow His Spirit to teach and shape us into the ones we really are in Him. This I believe, is the key to real and full health (I am not talking physically now, but spiritually and in a form that is eternal).<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>3. Make the world your gym </b><br />
<br />
Okay so I used to be a gym-goer (gasp!). It actually was not until I moved to Northern Ireland that I explored the world of activity outside of a gym and found that it is so beautiful. You can miss so much if you keep your activity limited to fitness equipment and weights. The Lord has given us all the desire to work and be active, he has given us life - not only physically but spiritually! I know our culture today encourages certain methods of training as "better" or more "efficient," but I don't believe this is true or good. Find out what you enjoy, what gives you energy and is fun for you! Obviously, I understand that I live in Norway and its one of the most beautiful and active countries, so I know if you live in Texas and its 110F the last thing you want to do is run outside. But what I mean is, don't feel you have to be something you are not. Not only in training, but in life! We all have different gifts, skills, strengths, weaknesses, bodies, looks, etc. (Think of 1 Corinthians 12 and the various yet important parts of the body). So take the time to <i>find out</i> who you are in these things - so you can use your strengths, acknowledge your weaknesses, and have peace in the one you are.<br />
<br />
<b>4. Get rid of your iPod... and your TV. </b><br />
<br />
Okay, okay, now I have lost some of you. But wait!! Hear me out. These two things were a leap for me (and one of them just recently as I lost my iPod and have been forced into this realization!). And yet...this is actually important and its something I want you all to think about. The impact of TV and music and media in general is HUGE, <i>massive</i> in fact. The decision to remove television from my life was one of the biggest and most fruitful decisions I have ever made. Now I don't want you to box me in as an ultra-conservative Christian at this point, for those who know me, I hope you see that my desire first and foremost is simply to a live for the Lord and to know Him. I am willing to do <i>whatever</i> to encourage that to fruition. Our time is limited, and for those who work and are involved with friends/family, you know the hours are quite few actually. There is so much more that we could do with our time than to sit in front of a TV screen. But more than that practical end, there is so much more <u>to gain</u> when we are not allowing ourselves to be constantly bombarded with the spirit of the world that comes through lyrics and messages of certain music and TV shows. I am going to take it a step further (if some of you are still with me...) and say that we ought even to be careful with that which we deem "Christian" or holding "Godly values." I mention this, because I have some dear friends who believe this - and I understand the mentality because I grew up in it and I know it is hard to think outside of. However, just because something has a Christian label or Godly values does not necessarily mean it should get the "green light" to have an influence in our lives. All I want to say, is THINK friends! Be careful and acknowledge the impact the music and television you listen to and watch has on your lives. The last thing I want to do is to build a wall of hostility about this within the church, but merely want to encourage you to stop and pray to the Lord about this and just ask the question - "Is what I am listening to and watching beneficial for the Kingdom?" and <i>be willing</i> to take the step, no matter what it means, when you get an answer.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><i>"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" Psalm 139:23-24</i></i></div>
</div>
<br />
<b>5. Have a friend!</b><br />
<br />
The Lord has placed a great desire and longing in our hearts to love and fellowship with Him and others. This is not always easy and I don't mean to use the buzz word "community," but in this world it can be easy to isolate ourselves. Especially with social media and crazy work hours and busyness, at the end of the day all you want to do is sit and watch TV for hours (okay sorry I won't go back to that) ... but we were made for more! Obviously, this will look different for different people. If you live in the US you likely live near some kind of church that has small groups and all sorts of activities - if that is you, I say be careful not to turn church into merely a social/relational activity and remember the point of it all (to have relational activity with the Lord!). For those of us who live in Europe, or at least for me in Scandinavia, it might not be so easy to find strong Christian fellowship. BUT take heart! The Lord is always near. Remember the classic and so good song -- <i>What a friend we have in Jesus, all our griefs and sins to bare, what a privilege to carry, everything to God in prayer! Can we find a friend so faithful? Who will all our sorrows share! Jesus knows our every weakness, take it to the Lord in prayer!</i> What sweet sweet truth this is. My second greatest friend is my husband. He helped me to see things for how they were, was stern with things that I needed to let go of, and continually encourages me to be strengthened as a child of God. If you are able, find one or two people who you can really be honest with. People with whom you can share your weaknesses, who can learn who you are, and can encourage you to pursue a "healthy" life of faith and righteousness. However, more importantly than even that, continue to pursue and turn to the greatest friend you have - the Lord, who can always be called on and found.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><i>I hope you can find encouragement in these 5 things that I have learned and that I believe has helped me to become more "healthy" in the way that I live and think and who I am in my heart. I still have a long way to go in my pursuit of a "healthy" or better yet, Godly, lifestyle. But may we all be willing and proactive to turn our eyes from what is seen to what is unseen and so find that which truly makes us alive and well - the love and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! </i></i></div>
</div>
<br />
<br />Sarah Normannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054169787408572410noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-29945899792902232672016-07-15T13:49:00.002+02:002016-07-15T14:00:16.350+02:00The Narrow Way <div style="line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">The Way is narrow and difficult. We know this.
We are told that the righteous will have trouble. We are told that we must
carry our cross and follow him (saying it and not even realizing the magnitude
of such a statement). So why then, do we get so distraught, so upset, so frustrated
and confused, when things do not go our way? When life is hard and we feel
tired and in some ways, disappointed? </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">I feel this is our tendency, or at least mine.
We read about the Israelites, traversing through the desert after the Lord has
redeemed them from brutal slavery. They had cried out to God for Him to rescue
them, to be taken out of the oppression of the Egyptians and He does just that!
He rescues them and He works mighty wonders by His hand and He shows His power
and sustaining love for them, not just in taking them out but from the weeks
and months before where He shows Pharaoh who is <i>really</i> in control. But then…only
a couple of chapters later we read about these Israelites, whose prayers had
practically JUST been answered and what are they doing? They have the nerve to
whine to God! They say <i>“God where are you? Have you left us in the desert to
starve?”</i> (cue whiny voice) and later when He does provide they complain
about a multitude of other things: demanding meat instead of the miracle manna
that God provides, demanding a king because well…everyone else has one. And we
read this and we just think come onnnn, are you <i>really</i> so ungrateful?!
Did you really <i>already</i> forget the saving grace of the Lord who redeemed
you from slavery, has provided food for you, is leading you day and night, AND
has promised to take you to a land flowing with milk and honey? And we just
want to reach into the story and shake them and say “<b>wake UP</b>!”</span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-size: large;">And then…oops. That is kind of like us too...
isn’t it?</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">The Lord has brought us out of slavery. He
redeemed us from all that brought us down and the lies of this world. He has
provided for our every need. Even better than the Israelites of that time, He
has now given us His very own Spirit, right within our hearts, by which He
leads us day and night. He has promised to take us to a land, a New Earth,
flowing with milk and honey and eternal joy. And how do we respond? A few
chapters into our lives, when we grow parched from the toil of the desert, when
our own selfishness and ignorance clouds our perspective, we completely forget
all that the Lord has done for us and is still doing and we say “where are you,
God?” <i>“Have you left us here to die?” </i></span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-size: large;">Someone shake<i> me</i> so I can wake
UP!! </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">How far this response is from the one that the
Lord desires. Several times in my life, in my journey with the Lord, I have had
this ignorant response. If I am honest, I have not been able to hold on to the
perspective I ought to have in the deepest trials and frustrations of my life.
In fact, I tend to be very black and white with my faith in these times. If the
Lord is silent..MAYBE he doesn’t even exist! MAYBE this is all a lie! I <i>did</i>
grow up in church after all, and I have this question and that one and that
one. And I must find answers or ELSE I might walk away forever! Yes, maybe I
will do just that…</span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">But oh Praise my Heavenly Father! He never
lets me get too far. He pours out more grace to me than I deserve, I must truly
admit that. I feel ashamed just admitting this kind of response I have had, but
it is true. <i>Am I the only one? ... </i>But the thing is, I have tasted
the goodness of the Lord. I can never go back. There is nothing in this world
that I want, nothing that appeals to me outside the glorious love and
friendship and majesty of God. So in my Father’s incredible patience, He shows
me little by little, again and again, that HE <i>does</i> hear, even my cries
of ignorance, even my cries of frustration and hurt. I have before become tired
of faith and have tried turning my back on it, but that has brought nothing
good and never does last so long. So I realized, I must have a different response.
I will not be like the Israelites, who as soon as Moses was out of sight for
longer than they were comfortable, decided they would make themselves a nice,
shiny golden calf. And they would worship that calf and be happy like the rest
of the world who worships such things… No, I will no longer have such a
response because (like the Israelites) that really never got anyone anywhere.
So instead, in the times of parched desert land, when I feel exhausted,
frustrated, and wondering “<i>Where are you God?</i>” I have decided to
continue and really commit myself to the Lord, even still.</span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">And so, I will <i>even more</i> come to the
Lord. And cry out to Him. And let Him know my frustrations and hurts and
longing to feel His safe place of refuge that He promises for all who come to
dwell in Him. I will read His Word and ask for His Spirit before I do so. I
will get on my knees, head bowed and I will talk to the Lord, and do my part.
And I will wait for Him to come. In His way, in His timing. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-size: large;">Do you know what I have found?</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">When I do this, He does come. He IS a place of
refuge for those who seek the power and safety of being in the palm of His
hand. Recently, I have been reading through the Psalms knowing it is a sure
fire way to find living water when my soul is weary. And though I have read
through these scriptures many times, and the lines are familiar, there was
something I noticed this time while reading. I noticed, that David and I have
some things in common. He can be a bit black and white too, actually, a person
of extremes. One minute, he is crying out to the Lord “<i>Where are you?!”
“Don’t you hear my cries?” “Do not be silent any longer!” </i>and the next line
He is praising the Lord, talking of the love relationship He has with His God,
and saying that he will place his trust in the Lord! So I saw, that though I
might tend to be a bit black and white, a person of extremes, both sides do not
have to be in opposition. I can have BOTH cries - <i>“God, where are you?! Do
not be silent!” </i>AND <i>“God, I will trust you. And I love you because of
who you are!” </i></span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">"My
God, my God, why have you forsaken me? </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">Why
are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">My
God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no
rest. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">YET
you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the one Israel praises. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">In
you our ancestors put their trust, <i>they trusted</i> <b>and you
delivered them</b>. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">To
you <i>they cried out</i> and <b>were saved</b>; </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">in
you they trusted and were not put to shame." </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-size: large;">Psalm
22:1-5 </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">I find great relief and peace in this. That I
can still trust the Lord, and be on a journey to grow in knowing Him, and be in
a loving relationship with my Father while I still am so far from complete
understanding or perfection. But that is why it is called “The WAY.” It is not
“the finale” or “the finish line” (yet, at least). </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">But I am encouraged to feel affirmed that I AM
in fact on The Way. Why? Because it IS hard, and dare I say, at times, even
feels like carrying that cross. It is full of burdens and frustrations as I
seek to follow the Lord with my whole being, with everything in me. So, like
David I cry: </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">"Create
in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">Do
not cast me from your presence or take yo</span><span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">ur Holy Spirit from me. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;">Restore
to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain
me." </span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Psalm
51:10-12</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #535353; font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
Sarah Normannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054169787408572410noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-730778912956137962015-09-23T10:46:00.002+02:002015-09-23T10:47:09.653+02:00Blessed Assurance<div style="text-align: left;">
Perfect submission, all is at rest, </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I in my Savior am happy and blest, </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Watching and waiting, looking above, </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love. </div>
<br />
As I sang this, alone in my room, this morning I felt so overcome with blessed assurance and felt a sudden urge to write about this assurance in God which He has faithfully stretched and shaped and molded over this past year. <br />
<br />
There have been a lot of changes in life, to say the least. Getting married, moving to Norway, moving back to Belfast, and now looking for work as an "immigrant" (because yes I am one of those now..). It has been a lot to handle and process and come to terms with. I used to think I could take anything, I had moved so many times I was "used" to it. And then I got hit with the reality that you can never get "used" to moving countries, you just cant, it is hard in different ways and it is never a smooth, easy-going process. Yet through it all, I am reminded that the Lord never gives us more than we can handle (even if it sometimes feels it is) and He always leads to His glory and our good. I know this is true because I have experienced it again and again, and He is always faithful, always always always, and again and again and again...<br />
<br />
So this is a post to praise my Father who I love and adore. Who bears patiently with me when I whine and complain and cry out to Him. Who never ceases to teach me and lead me on His path, which though it is narrow is beautiful and wonderful and I would not trade it for the world (literally). It seems every year is challenging in different ways. This year held difficulties with transition, health, fears and doubts, and through it all I have been brought to a place where I see that within sorrow there really can be great joy. And it is SO true that when we turn our eyes on Jesus, all things really do fade away. My husband, Mikael, and I have decided to take a detour from our reading in the Old Testament to study Revelation within this time of our lives where there remains so many uncertainties about right now and the future. I have been job searching for two months now and next year we do not know whether we will be in Belfast, Norway, America, or China... and so it might be easy that our perspective slowly dwells on here and now and the world we are in. But this perspective is not how it should be for us, we ought instead to have a heavenly perspective.<br />
<br />
<i>Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the
things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. <span class="reftext"></span><span class="highl">Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.</span> <span class="reftext"></span>For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:1-3</i><br />
<br />
It has been challenging to reflect on the adoption of this perspective. I want to learn how to really have this outlook and to truly set my eyes on things above. As I was reading through Mark, I came to the parable where Jesus talks about the seeds which fall in various terrains. When I got to the part where he describes those who fall on good soil but are choked by the worries of life that they cease to bear fruit, I felt an immediate blow to my heart and got on my knees to ask the Lord that it might not be so with me! I recognize that it is so easy for me to worry about the things of this life. Obviously, things of the world have to be thought about and recognised as we live and work here, but I want to learn more what it is to have my mind ruled with a different focus and a heavenly hope.<br />
<i> </i><br />
So Mikael suggested we go through Revelation, to be reminded that this world is not our home and to read and be encouraged by the King and Kingdom to which we belong. Y'all. (wow I have not used that word in awhile..) But really, y'all. Revelation is really beautiful. I know it is a book that is often seen as intimidating or confusing or whatever, but really, please take the time to read it. For "<i>Blessed
is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are
those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near" (Revelation 1:3).</i><br />
<br />
What a glimpse it gives us into the Heavenly things. To a vision of the Son of Man: <i>"He held seven stars in his right hand, and a sharp two-edged sword came from his mouth. And his face was like the sun in all its brilliance" (Revelation 1:16).</i> <span class="text Rev-3-12" id="en-NIV-30759"><span class="woj">To our citizenship in the Kingdom of God: "<i>The one who is victorious I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will they leave it. I will write on them the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on them my new name" (Revelation 3:12). </i>To the King of Heaven: <i>"The one sitting on the throne was as brilliant as gemstones - like jasper and carnelian. And the glow of an emerald circled his throne like a rainbow"</i> <i>(Revelation 4:3).</i></span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Rev-3-12" id="en-NIV-30759"><span class="woj">What a glorious, glorious hope we have! It might not be any time soon that I feel settled in this life. I might remain jobless, I might always be a foreigner, I might always feel some level of discomfort or instability, but if that means I can be continually reminded of the fact<i> that this world is not my home, </i>and truly learn what it means to have a heavenly perspective, then I praise the Lord for His grace to lead me to a reward such as this which is far greater than any comfort or job could grant me. May I learn more what it means to be a Citizen of Heaven while abiding in this world <i>"</i></span></span><i><span class="highl">For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ;</span> <span class="reftext"></span>who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory" (Philippians 3:20). </i><br />
<br />
And one day I will join the voice of the saints who day after day and night after night kept saying <i>"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God, the Almighty - the one who always was, who is, and who is still to come" Revelation 4:8.</i><br />
<br />
Yes, Blessed Assurance indeed!<i> </i><i></i>Sarah Normannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08054169787408572410noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-39722318265967218792014-11-26T20:06:00.000+01:002016-07-13T18:56:42.090+02:00The Purpose of Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br />Alright. I am at Clements (Belfast's local coffee shop), I have my americano and I will blog. I tell you what, I really fell into a writer's block. Blame it on the move abroad. Blame it on busyness. Blame it on the weather. Whatever way - I am back! I have so many thoughts and so much that the Lord has been teaching me these past six months in Northern Ireland. It was hard to choose what I might write about on this return to the blog world. There have been many small daily teachings, God's voice clearly speaking to me, and experiences of His glory but I have come to one over-arching realization while I have been here. You would think I would have had this realization long ago, and maybe I did in a sense, but it has not come to full fruition until now and what a glorious realization it is.</div>
<i><br /></i>
<i>The realization of the purpose of life. </i><br />
<br />
This was a big question for me years ago. I remember various times that the question was raised in my mind, "What <i>is</i> the point of all this?" Often said in frustration, post-heartbreak, friendship fallouts, or work overload... What. Is. The. Point.<br />
<br />
Wow. I just had to stop and think about one specific time that I asked this again and again. As an 18 year old at the end of high school. I remember walking through the halls feeling completely empty, completely uncertain whether there even <i>was</i> a point. That emptiness, my "intellectualism," my border-line atheism was the chain that held me at the start of college when the Lord found me and set me free. Though I have raised that question since then, what a joy it is to look back and think of the transformation and freedom of the Holy Spirit and that I never have to experience such emptiness ever again. Hallelujah.<br />
<br />
I think why I feel so pulled to write specifically on this is because I have had several conversations with believers that make me wonder what they feel is the purpose of life. Certain way that decisions are made, motives are explained, and even the way that the Lord is talked about makes me think that many of us believers actually have different ideas to the <i>point</i> of it all. Statements have been thrown out like "good job, you are making a difference, and isn't that what it's all about?" or "it is all about God's plan for your life" or other things that I cannot remember but raised some internal alarms when heard. Well, are those things what its all about? I was not so sure. Often I think we talk the talk and walk the walk and yet never spend time with the Lord who should be making that talk and forming that walk. The greatest tragedy I think will be when acts that appear "righteous" will fill our lives so much so that we convince ourselves that this is what its all about, and yet we will one day meet God and He will say "I never knew you."<br />
<br />
My heart aches thinking about such a tragedy.<br />
<br />
For if it is true that this world is passing away, that we have nothing on our own to give, then what is the purpose of it all? I will never fully understand the Lord, the Creator of the Universe who crafted the speed of light and supernovas which are at such a scale that my mind cannot even comprehend. Yet as I walk with Him daily and by His grace are given more and more insight to His character it seems to me that we have twisted what its all about, have twisted it to focus on ourselves, on this present world, on everything but His Kingdom and Glory. But is that not what the Lord tells us it IS about? His glory - His Kingdom.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="text Isa-43-6" id="en-NIV-18512" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;">I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ </span><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="text Isa-43-6" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’ </span></span><span class="text Isa-43-6" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;">Bring my sons from afar </span><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="text Isa-43-6" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">and my daughters from the ends of the earth—</span></span><span class="text Isa-43-7" id="en-NIV-18513" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; left: -4.4em; line-height: 22px; position: absolute; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"> </span></span><span class="text Isa-43-7" id="en-NIV-18513" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;">everyone who is called by my name, </span><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="text Isa-43-7" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><b>whom I created for my glory</b>, </span></span><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="text Isa-43-7" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">whom I formed and made. Isaiah 43:6-7</span></span></span></blockquote>
So where do we fit in all of that? We see over and over that the Lord is a God of relationship and He desires relationship with His children. What a glorious truth that is. Though I can never love Him or honor Him or obey Him the way He is worthy to be loved and honored and obeyed - He says He <i>delights </i>in me still. When I came here I left everything- my job, my family, my home and everything that was familiar. Maybe it was through this emptying that it took me moving to inner-city East Belfast to see that <i>the purpose of this life is simply to know and love God and through this to bring Him glory.</i> How easy it is to complicate this truth. The world so easily distracts us from the amazing fact that <i>we</i> can have an immediate, personal, deep relationship with the God of the Universe who is loving and precious and full of overwhelming goodness! <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.5555562973022px; line-height: 23.9999980926514px;">Now this is eternal life—</span><b style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15.5555562973022px; line-height: 23.9999980926514px;">that they know you</b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.5555562973022px; line-height: 23.9999980926514px;">, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you sent. John 17:3</span></blockquote>
I do truly believe that the point of life is NOT to do good, to make a difference, to do work in excellence, to live in community, to minister, to be holy, to spread the Gospel. Hear me - all these things are good but I do not believe they are the sole or highest calling. Take any of these things away and you still have redemption from Christ; God's goodness still reigns. I can find God when I am not good, when I am not making much of a difference, when I am lazy, when I am alone, when I fail to be holy. I may not find victory in this world and yet I can rest knowing that there is victory in Jesus, that I will receive the reward of victory if not in this life than most definitely in the next. How? By knowing God.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">And he who searches our hearts</span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28144BB" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28144BB" title="See cross-reference BB">BB</a>)" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes</span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28144BC" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28144BC" title="See cross-reference BC">BC</a>)" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. Romans 27:8</span></blockquote>
What an awesome freedom we have as children of God! How light our burden to know that when we have knowing and glorifying God as our focus and purpose we are released from the pressure of self-sufficiency or fear of not meeting others' expectations. If God is for us who can be against us? Better yet: when we place knowing and glorifying God as our first and foremost priority what do we find? We find that we are <i>better able</i> to do good. <i>By His Spirit</i>, He can use us to make a difference, to do our work in excellence, to fellowship with others, to be so eager to talk of our love and joy in Him that the Gospel comes out in conversation. Nothing is forced, nothing is done out of a false heart, nothing is done by our own strength or pride. All God, all by His Spirit, all by our relationship with a holy and active Father.<br />
<br />
<i>Lord how wonderful are your ways! May your praise be ever on my lips and your goodness always on my heart. Transform me God that your purposes will become my purpose, your ways my ways, your glory my holiness. That in all this life I might come to know You so you are glorified now and forever. Amen. </i><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="text Rom-8-38" id="en-NIV-28155" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor</span><span class="text Rom-8-38" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"> any powers,</span></span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span class="text Rom-8-39" id="en-NIV-28156" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 27:38</span></span></span></blockquote>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-25886190018151295742014-07-27T22:34:00.000+02:002016-07-13T18:57:22.202+02:00Is Doubt a Bad Thing?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Wow, yeah. So it has been quite a long time since I have written. There has been a good amount that has happened since my last blog and there were often times that I considered writing an update. I think my mind has just been so full with thoughts and life has been so messy in transition that I couldn't even bring myself to write.<br />
<br />
I'll be honest - this time abroad has been extremely challenging for me. I actually want to apologize if I have made it appear to be nothing but grand, that "eurolife" is nothing but perfection with tea and biscuits, beautiful architecture, and pain au chocolat (though all those things are delightful!). I think it is pretty much built into social media to only portray the good in life, which I guess makes sense because how could you even picture hardship? (Minus the people that post facebook statuses angry at their boyfriends or prayer requests etc.) ANYWAY, I realized that I was portraying my life here as pure rainbows and butterflies when my friend messaged me about how it appeared that I was settling in wonderfully and enjoying Belfast etc. etc. in which I had to respond with the truth that actuallllly, I was having a really hard time.<br />
<br />
So for those who want an update and for those who want a life lesson, luckily a life with the Lord almost always provides both. I am not 100% sure why this time around has been so difficult. I actually expected it to be a smooth transition, as Belfast is not as different from America as other places that I have lived. Yet I have been challenged and stretched here in ways that I did not anticipate. In reflection, I guess it maybe has to do with me coming here on my own whereas in the past I traveled with other Baylor students or interns or exchange students etc. The project I am working with is brand new so there are inevitable challenges and unknowns to the start-up of a new initiative. Then there's other miscellaneous hardships and all of this has inevitably allowed a lot of my insecurities and questions to surface.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I just have to laugh at myself, remembering conversations before I left about how I was anticipating some loneliness at the beginning, prepared that it would surely be different than my expectations, and that I knew I would inevitably struggle some in transition. Yet here I am - faced with all of my premonitions and I'm crumbling! Oh how we can never be fully prepared on our own. I have said in the past and stand to this now, that in the midst of struggle we can either run from God or draw closer to God. The Lord is teaching me now though that even in times of doubt, in questioning, in crying out; even if we feel as though we are running from God, that God knows our heart and in the end His will is accomplished and He will draw us back to Him. We can never be far from the love of God.<br />
<br />
So I took advantage of the Belfast Central Library and checked out John Pritchard's book "God Lost and Found." It has been such an encouraging book for me in the midst of personal darkness. I want to be vulnerable and honest with everyone that I felt my heart growing in frustration and was facing a lot of doubts in my faith AND through this I have learned that sometimes <b><i>doubt is okay</i></b>. I think at times believers can get uncomfortable by people who have questions, we much prefer just to agree with one another, quote a popular Scripture verse, throw out some Christian lingo, say "I'll pray for you," and boom...we move on. But I believe the Lord desires that we go deeper with Him, and to go deeper with Him sometimes we have to ask hard questions. Now, that doesn't mean we will always find the answers or even that we will experience peace, but I believe that as we continue searching, asking, seeking God that He will grow us in wisdom and ultimately will use us for His glory.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"A sense of being on a quest is part of this model of pilgrimage. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>We can never have the Christian faith caught in a jar and put on a shelf. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>It must remain an exploration until the end of our lives." </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>- John Pritchard</i></div>
<br />
Just as the Lord promises us abundance of life, Scripture also promises hardship within it. This can only mean that full abundance comes from both blessings and hardship. We are told to fight the good fight, finish the race, and keep the faith (2 Tim 4:7). Through suffering, God can create in us a new mental and emotional landscape. Sometimes, we have to be submerged before we can re-emerge with Him again. After all, was this not what Jesus himself had to do?<br />
<br />
Just as Jesus cried out "My God, why have you forsaken me?" there will surely be times in our life as well that we face seasons of doubt. That is when our faith comes down to commitment. I felt so shaken when I would cry out to the Lord and would feel nothing in return. I felt like I was talking to the walls, uncertain whether God was even near. I wanted to <i>feel</i> His presence, I was praying that He would allow me to <i>feel</i> Him near. Anything God! A rushing sensation, a bird chirping, a quiet moment of peace...give me something! But I got nothing. So if God promises that He IS near and He dwells right within me, then what's the deal? I realized though, that my desire for a physical reaction was reducing God to my expectation, as if God is here only to serve my spiritual need. I believe the modern-day church is guilty of an over-emphasis on this experience in worship, creating an atmosphere that advocates that its somehow better to have some mystical encounter with God than just to be in a simple room of believers singing as one, as if God should only appear in some magical way or through physical chills. The truth is though, that authentic experience of the Lord often comes in the mundane of daily life. In the smile of a child, in the display of a sunset, in the smell of the forest - as Creator he is immersed in all things. We can experience the glory of God in all that surrounds us if only we slow down and open our eyes to recognize it.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"It is often in places of fragility and vulnerability that our journey back to an awareness of God begins. When we have lost our spiritual bearings it may be that we should have recourse to some form of desert. When everything else is stripped away and it's just you, nature and God, nature may well respond and reveal the secrets of her Creator" - God Lost and Found </i></div>
<br />
In seasons of frustration and doubt our faith often comes down to obedience and commitment. Like a relationship that has passed the honeymoon stage, the newlywed bliss, the newfound love of young parenthood, there reaches a season when love is simply love because you are committed to that person. It is not always Cloud 9, a butterfly in your stomach, or giddiness in your cheeks - it is a commitment of a different kind of depth and beautiful in its own sense. A unique intimacy undervalued by our society which is more taken by the thrills and the frills. Just like Jesus asked his three closest friends to "remain here, and stay awake with me" (Matt 26:38); He asks us to do the same. It may not be the popular thing, but our task is to stay, whether we feel His presence or not.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"The doubt of the believer is like the roots of a tree searching down into the depths of the earth, going in entirely the opposite direction to that of the tree. But only because those roots are deep is the tree secure from the blasts of winter. Shallow roots would be ripped up. The deep roots of doubt, going apparently in the opposite direction to faith, are actually a guarantee against immaturity and the premature shipwreck of faith. To have entered the zone of dark doubt is to have had to face the demons, the negative arguments, the wondering 'if this was all folly,' and to have found an accommodation, a way of staying in there." - John Pritchard</i></div>
<br />
The older I get, the more experiences I have, the greater the tests and challenges I face, I realize that there are many things in life that cannot be captured or certain. Many things take time for reflecting, discussing, leaving for awhile, deepening, etc. I like to have things figured out, but I'm finding that this is not God's design. God's design is that we must come to him for our daily bread, always coming, always trusting, committing our lives to a never-ending relationship with God. How refreshing it is to praise a Saviour who cannot be figured out, who is not so small to fit into my logical mind, to be plugged into a formula, or to be reduced to one simple answer. The complexity, vastness, wonder of God is the very thing that keeps me coming back day by day. The more I learn the more I love, the more I hurt the more I depend, the more I thirst the more I am filled and I commit to new teachings every day. It is a wonderful life, though not vacant of hardships.<br />
<br />
One of me and Mikael's favorite hymns to sing together is Day by Day,<br />
and the words are always an encouragement to me:<br />
<i>"Day by day, and with each passing moment, </i><br />
<i>Strength I find to meet my trials here, </i><br />
<i>Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment, </i><br />
<i>I've no cause for worry or for fear. </i><br />
<i>He whose heart is kind beyond all measure, </i><br />
<i>Gives unto each day what He deems best. </i><br />
<i>Loveingly it's part of pain and pleasure, </i><br />
<i>Mingling toil with peace and rest"</i><br />
<br />
I encourage you to embrace a life like this. Not of stale faith, one that simply places a label over a life but has no implication on how you live or how you think or how you feel. Not of black and white faith that claims to know the truth of every word of the Bible, as if we can ever fully know what God's intent was behind this or that. Not of surface level faith that only follows the crowd at church or the words of the pastor but never seeks to personally know more about the Lord in one's own life, never allows the Spirit in, never surrenders to a personal journey towards wisdom and Christ-likeness. And hear me out - I'm not making doubt some kind of virtue or desiring that you indulge in questioning, but simply that you should not fear going there, not fear going deeper with a God who calls us to follow Him into the depths.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"Those who believe they believe in God but without passion in the heart, without anguish of mind, without uncertainty, </i><i>without doubt and even at times without despair, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>believe only in the idea of God, not in God himself."</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> - Miguel de Unamuno </i></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-21809968639204568642014-05-27T03:52:00.000+02:002016-07-13T18:57:38.742+02:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>"And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you" Psalm 39:7</i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #444444;">I write this with a sad and heavy heart at the end of my last day here at the CooperRiis farm. This interim project in North Carolina was challenging in ways that I would have never anticipated. It is truly fascinating what you learn about yourself when you live and work in the same place. You realize your own selfishness when you face the challenge of serving people 24/7. Extend that to serving those who do not always<i> want</i> to be served or loved, and who face deep mental turmoil...it is just not easy. I walk away from this time having grown tremendously in flexibility and adaptability. In my role, I was pushed to be a chameleon and I grew a lot because of it. </span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #444444;">One of my biggest challenges at CooperRiis has been learning how to stand for Christ in an organization that is not faith-based. As a ministry student it was quite easy to talk about the Lord in conversation, in relationship, in many aspects of daily life. Throughout my summers, I often worked in a faith-based organization or got plugged into some kind of faith-based mission work. This was the first time that I was led to serve missionally in a secular organization. Moreover, a therapeutic community which tends to acknowledge Eastern beliefs and shy away from Christianity. I have noticed that conversations involving faith are extremely sensitive and can easily arouse some kind of controversy. There seems to be a lot of hurt and resentment towards the church. With this reality, I have learned just how difficult it can be to stand for Christ in a society that categorizes you as "religious" and ties jaded philosophies and stereotypes to that label. </span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #444444;">"They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator...Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them" Romans 1: 25, 32</span></i></div>
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #444444;">While I had some experience with opposition in the past, I started over-thinking my approach. Just how could I maintain boundaries, remain respectful, not come off as condemning; while still bringing glory to the Lord in all of my work and still stand for truth? I am a pretty vocal person, so as time went on and I fell more quiet in an attempt to respect boundaries, I started to get frustrated with myself. I was frustrated by this pluralistic mentality that I seemed to constantly face. "You believe what you believe, and I'll believe what I believe and all will be fine." But no! That is <i>not </i>fine with me - because if I truly loved those around me then I would not just sit back and watch as they walk towards the edge of a jagged cliff. If I am filled to the brim with joy and life I cannot just keep quiet as though it does not exist. Just like when someone is in love and they seem to take every opportunity to bring up that person ("The sky is so blue today" "My boyfriend's favorite color is blue..."), I love to bring up Jesus and to see and acknowledge how the Lord is undeniably in nature, in people, and in situations. </span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #444444;">"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse" Romans 1:20</span></i></div>
<i><span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></i>
<span style="color: #444444;">I remember a conversation I had within the first few weeks of being at CooperRiis. I was cleaning the dining room with another intern and he started talking about his perspective on our community. "But I would do things a little differently. What is healing without the saving power of Jesus?" I was profoundly impacted by this statement. Without the hope of the Cross what hope do any of us have on our own? I feel a sting deep in my heart when I talk to residents about their dreams and their vision for the future. Residents and many others in this world are completely uncertain of their purpose in life. Their dreams and goals extend only to what the world can offer - money, career, relationships - all things that can come crashing down and leave people feeling hopeless. Oh if only more would take hold of the freedom that is offered in Christ! Freedom which raises life from death and allows those who are lost to be found. </span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #444444;">"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy." Psalm 103:2-4</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></i></div>
<span style="color: #444444;">As time went on, I continued to struggle with this issue. It probably did not help that I was also reading through Acts about the boldness and courage of disciples who spread the Good News; who even in the face of rejection simply brushed off their sandals and continued. And here I was, feeling so paralyzed by the dynamic of the therapeutic community I was in - unable to find a balance of my desire to be respectful and loving but still confident in faith. While I processed this internal battle and prayed for direction, I realized my desire for control seeping in. I was trying to find some formula rather than trusting the Spirit to guide me in every situation. The Lord may open opportunities for us to speak up, but there are also times that the Spirit will lead us to be still, to be silent. There are times that we would be more of a barrier to the Gospel if we were to speak up, then if we simply met each person where they were and loved them with no condition. I must remember that it is not my responsibility to save the world for that has already been done. I am simply a vessel for God's Kingdom. His plan will be accomplished with or without me. He can use me only when I surrender to His leading. I am not to evaluate my effectiveness but am to trust that the Lord will grow seeds that are sown according to His purpose. </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #444444;">"But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, 'You are my God.'" Psalm 31:14</span></i></div>
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #444444;">I leave here knowing that many still walk in darkness. As I stared out my window this morning, tears poured out for each of the lives here on the farm. For those who know me, you know I am not the most emotional person - and when I do cry it is usually something related to myself: I'm in pain, someone broke my heart, or I am frustrated with myself. This time, my tears were tears of genuine sorrow (not pity) out of love for each resident - wanting them so badly to find hope in Jesus and escape the shadow of death. How I pray that they do not just find healing in self-realization, or a career goal, or whatever else - but that they would find real life in Christ. I have never felt such a profound desire for others' salvation. I have never felt so genuinely desperate that people who are lost be found. Yet I have to trust that the Lord is above me, He is working out His plan for the glory of His Name, and He will open eyes to the truth and grant life to those who accept it. In every place I go I will face those who will reject this gift that is offered to them. At the end of the day, all I can do is love God with all my heart and all my soul and all my mind and trust that He will use me as a vessel to live out the Good News in love, for others and for His Kingdom. </span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #444444;">"He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." Psalm 23:3</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #444444; font-size: large;">"Everything from Jesus' parables, to his healings, to his controversies, to his warnings and all of that, the reason they were telling this stuff is not just that it was good advice for them in their own day but that it actually mattered, that it actually happened. And if it hadn't happened you're into a totally different world-view.. A world-view which is about ideas, which is about self-realization, hugely popular in our culture just now, 'discovering who I really am.' For goodness sake, Jesus didn't come to help me discover who I really am. He came to tell me who he knew I really was and to do something about it - And that's much better news" </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #444444; font-size: large;">- N.T. Wright, Bishop of Durham, The Case for Christ</span></i></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-18586243828500967662014-05-23T04:12:00.000+02:002016-07-13T18:58:17.780+02:00So You Graduated<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23.100000381469727px;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh graduation! Such a beautiful time of celebration: senior
pictures, graduation parties, and sad good-bye songs. The grand finale of 12+
years of school. You have crossed the finish line and been handed that
hard-earned diploma.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is hard to imagine that it has already been a year since
I graduated, since I stepped across that imaginary line into the “real world.”
It seems to have flown by and yet when I look back a year ago today I see that
a lot has happened and I have learned a great deal. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This time is such a pivotal time in life. The year after
college is hard for a lot of reasons, some of which were a surprise to me. This
precious time can be a time to draw near and intimate with the Lord, but it can
also be a vulnerable time that leads people astray. So, I thought I might share
some things that I learned within my first year of this “real world.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>1. I desire community.</i>
</span>My entire life up until graduation, community has pretty much been handed to me
on a silver platter. As students, we are surrounded by community. We are in
classes with people around the same age, with similar life struggles, and who
often come from the same socio-economic class and culture as we do. Boom.
Friendship. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
…Then you get out into the real world. You move for a job or
a friend or a boyfriend or an adventure. Suddenly, you find yourself in a big
pool of people who are all different ages, in different life stages, have different
beliefs, and different priorities. You quickly find that it is not as easy to
build community as it was freshman year of college when you literally became
friends with someone after 5 minutes. The reality is that the people around you
may not be looking or even wanting your friendship. They will probably already
have their friends, their family, and their hobbies that take up more of their
time than they even have. So you come in excited to build relationship and are
met with rejection or apathy. You go to work, come home, and want to explore your
new life but not necessarily on your own. So you hop on Facebook and you stare
at the faces of everyone else that seem to live perfect, happy lives surrounded
by tons of friends. As the loneliness comes over you all you think is “man, I
miss college.” This will happen, and that’s okay. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Loneliness is something that can make or break you. In
Scripture, we are told that as believers we are guaranteed times of loneliness. <span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>("<span style="background-color: white;">I did not sit in the company of revelers, nor did I rejoice; I sat alone, because your hand was upon me, for you had filled me with indignation." Jeremiah 15:17) </span></i></span>We should anticipate it, because unfortunately while many may believe in God or
claim some form of spirituality – majority do not have a personal relationship with the
Lord. It can be difficult to find other authentic believers to befriend. Yet
the Lord can use times of loneliness to draw us further into intimacy with Him.
What a sweet, sweet time it is to rely less on the church or other believers
for our faith and to draw deeper and deeper in dependence on God. On the other
hand, this desire for community may lead some to seek it where they can find it
– and that usually means settling for friends who may not be believers, going
out and doing what the world says you should do in your 20s, and following a path
that leads to a lot of emptiness and probably eventually…further loneliness.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Take the time to seek community in healthy, Christ-filled
relationships if at all possible. Yet be aware that it <i>is</i> going to take time and when you face the loneliness that is sure
to come allow the Lord to find you in that place and fill you with His living
water. I promise nothing compares. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23.100000381469727px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'" Lamentations 3:22-24</i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>2. I am a breed of the
“adventure” culture</i>.</span> I have noticed something about our generation. Many of
us are beginning to rebel from the societal ideal that tells us to get a
job, open a 401k, get married, settle in the suburbs, and retire at a ripe old
age of 65. More and more, I see people getting out and taking the time to
travel, go on adventures, and experience other cultures. Now, I do not think
there is anything inherently wrong with any of these things. In fact, I am
excited to see how our culture will grow as our generation develops eyes which
are widened to the outside world. The motive is what I fear. The idea that “God
is adventure” or “I must do big things for God!” The desire to seek these
things just as a way to oppose the system; and say “Ha! Take that
society!” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What I have learned is that the Lord is present in both the big
and the small. I am no more righteous if I serve with an indigenous tribe than
if I serve my family in our suburban home. There are many ways that the Lord
can use us for His glory – one way is no better than the other. Some of my greatest
Jesus moments this past year have been in simple daily tasks; a conversation
with a stranger while getting lost; scrubbing a toilet alongside a resident;
singing hymns in my car; taking in the stillness of each morning. The Lord is
in every experience if I allow Him to be, if I acknowledge Him and ask Him to
walk with me through each day. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I want to apologize for the times that I have
emphasized adventure or huge events to be the biggest moments of glory in my
life. The truth is - I experience glory in the small details of every day. Maybe
I do not talk about that very much because well…it might be boring to hear
about those things. But I want to be careful not to neglect the truth of the
simple joy that comes from being a child of God each and every day, no matter
how exciting or mundane that day may be. You do not have to go on an
adventurous safari trek in <st1:place w:st="on">Africa</st1:place> or an
Amazonian mission trip to find the Lord – He is there, within you, and every
day is an adventure when you get to follow and surrender to a mighty and
incredible God. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23.100000381469727px;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men" </span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23.100000381469727px;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Colossians 3:23</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">3. <i>I do not have it
all figured out and I do not want to.</i></span> I am a girl and I like timelines. I
like to have things planned and know what is coming. This also means that I
often fall prey to a waiting game. I get so excited for whatever step is next
that I fail to live fully on the very step that I am actually on. Life can
easily become a never-ending waiting game. By my last semester, I was so ready
for graduation that I was pretty much zombie-mode those last few weeks of
waiting. When I graduated, I was so excited to move to <st1:state w:st="on">Indiana</st1:state>. When I was nearing the end of my
time in <st1:state w:st="on">Indiana</st1:state>, I was just ready to be back
in <st1:state w:st="on">Texas</st1:state>.
When I was back in <st1:state w:st="on">Texas</st1:state>,
I was just excited to start my first job. Then comes waiting anxiously for marriage and kids and on
and on and on I go. That mentality was exhausting! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All the big moments and
transitions of life are great, and I love how the Lord has placed everything in
its own timing. He prepares us for every stage in our life, and when we are
ready to move to the next we will know because He will guide us there. Yet
again and again I try to take my timeline into my own hands, under my control.
I do not think the blame is all on me though. As a college grad, be prepared
for that golden question <i>“So what is your
plan now?”</i> My new favorite answer is <i>“My
plan is to have no plan.”</i> I love taking the opportunity to share about my
desire to grow in my trust of the Lord. Yes, I still have my responsibility to
work hard, to steward the resources God provides for me, and to be wise in
decisions. However for me it is very natural to over-plan, but it is not so
natural to let go and trust. So that is where my focus is: to trust the Lord,
to surrender, to let go of my plans and follow His will.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-style: italic; line-height: 23.100000381469727px; text-align: start;">"But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations." Psalm 33:11</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is sad news though, unfortunately the Lord will not just lay out His
plan for you so that you can anticipate all that will happen in your life. He
is not going to tell you what age you will marry, or when He will open that job
opportunity for you or even what is coming in the next season of your life. It
is frustrating, it is hard; yet it is also beautiful how the Lord would set it
up in such a way that requires us to come to Him daily. He provides just enough
for our daily bread. I come to Him daily and every day fall more in love and
more in faith. He teaches me how to have peace in the unknown, confidence in
the future, and fullness in the present. His daily fellowship is fully
satisfying and I want nothing more than to soak in it and enjoy it and love
others because of it; plan or no plan. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is still definitely a process that the Lord is teaching
me – and I do not claim to not have my to-do lists or ideals, because I do. Yet
I choose to focus on slowly letting go of the control I still claim over my
life and allowing God to take it all. So while society, friends and family, and
even your own mind will encourage you towards a 5-year plan; be prepared to be
flexible, anticipate change, pray for a heart of boldness and obedience for
when that change comes; take one day at a time; and enjoy it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Congrats graduates!</div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-66955345406169337682014-04-28T14:20:00.002+02:002016-07-13T18:58:33.294+02:00Jes(us) Culture <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
So, I recently traveled home for Easter to pack my things for Northern Ireland and say bye to family and friends. One of the biggest blessings of the week was having my boyfriend visit from Norway. Okay, I know I know.. I haven't mentioned this new love of my life. I have found that it's best to keep relationships sacred. In short for those who don't know, Mikael and I were friends in Hong Kong and the Lord brought him back into my life last Fall and he has become my absolute best friend and love of my life in every sense!<br />
<br />
SO that's that. I'm so grateful that the Lord has allowed this love story to unfold in my life. But, I actually want to share with you all an argument Mikael and I had during his visit. Wait, what? You're not going to share that your life is perfect and being in love is sunshine and butterflies? NOPE. On the contrary, I'm going to be real and share with you how grateful I am for a love that can be challenging and uncomfortable; and share how God used my relationship to steer me further on the path of righteousness.<br />
<br />
Here's how it happened:<br />
<br />
It was a lovely afternoon and mom, Mike, and I were headed to the lake for a picnic lunch. I turned on the radio and found a station of a secular song that I enjoyed. Mike was quiet. When we stopped and pulled over for directions (we got lost of course), Mike got my attention and told me he was upset in regards to the music. He told me we would talk about it later and so I turned it off and sat in silence for a little bit. The day before we had talked about music, how we should filter everything that we see and hear. Mike had voiced his disapproval of some of the music I listened to. You see, I still listen to secular music at times. I watch mainstream TV shows and movies. I never really thought it was a big deal. I knew where my foundation was and in moderation I felt it was okay. After all, we may not be of the world but we still live in it...well Mikael felt differently and as the leader of our relationship I wanted to respect his opinion. We went on with the picnic and I quietly prayed and talked to God throughout the day in regards to all of this. When we got home, I was in my room and I knew the Spirit was telling me that this music thing was something I should take seriously. I didn't need to make excuses or compare myself to other believers, I needed to listen to the Lord when He was directing me. I think I had always known that secular music was something I should let go of but I had ignored the conviction thinking it was "unnecessary" or "too radical." Honestly, part of me just selfishly wanted to listen to it. Later that evening, we addressed this music conflict. It quickly turned into a back-and-forth debate. Towards the end, Mike talked about how difficult it was to be vocal about all of this because he loves me and he wants to please me, but he knew that it was best and he felt strongly that this was something I needed to let go of to pursue a holy lifestyle. I so appreciated good leadership in that moment. I realized then that a good leader was not one who was always going to agree with me or simply lead in a way that I was comfortable with. A good leader was going to challenge me and make me feel uncomfortable at times, because the pursuit of righteousness is not easy and it's definitely not always comfortable.<br />
<br />
So you know how the Lord is always such a patient and loving Father that He often sends us a message multiple times and in multiple ways so that our stubborn hearts may eventually hear and receive? This was one of those instances.<br />
<br />
Throughout the week, we decided to read through Philippians since we're in the process of memorizing it. It's incredible just how much this very issue is brought up in this book. Eventually we got to Philippians 3:18 <i>"For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ"</i> ...It doesn't specify nonbelievers as these enemies. Meaning those who live as enemies of the cross could include believers who resist total sacrifice, wanting to hold on to this world and not surrender wholly to the pure and blameless path of Jesus.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body." Philippians 3: 19. </i>When we fill our lives with music and lyrics, television shows, and movies that are full of trash we also contaminate our minds and our souls, further increasing the clutter in our lives that keep us from God.<br />
<br />
Do we take all of this seriously enough? Don't we often as believers live lives very similar to non-believers and yet expect them to see that we are different? Expect a scripture verse on our Facebook wall or a Jesus sticker on our bumper car to set us apart as disciples? We are not told to live like the world and simply speak Jesus, we are told to pick up our cross and walk the path of Jesus - which involves real, uncomfortable, difficult sacrifice.<br />
<br />
If Scripture and my relationship wasn't enough for the Lord to bring this area to my life to attention, then this third channel finally got to me. Mikael's sweet parents gave me a book as a gift called <i>By Searching</i>, the autobiography of Isobel Kuhn, a woman who was a missionary in China with her husband. As I sat on the plane back to North Carolina I poured over the pages of that autobiography, shocked at how much I related to this girl and her story. In her youth, she talks about testing the Lord's existence and finding Him to be real and true. Yet even as she grew in faith she continued to hold on to worldly things.<br />
<br />
She refers to the <i>Misty Flats</i> as<i> "The in between level place of easy going; nothing very good attempted, yet nothing bad either; where men walk in the mist telling each other that no one can see these things clearly. The misty flats where the in betweeners drift to and fro; life has no end but amusement and no purpose; where the herd drift with the strongest pull and there is no reason for opposing anything. Therefore they have a kind of peace and a mutual link which they call tolerance" (3).</i> The <i>Misty Flats - </i>that in between place where you may claim God but your life is far from complete surrender, or you may enjoy the moral value of religion but are okay with everyone believing whatever they believe. There is no clear purpose, no clear truth, where all is okay and yet nothing is certain.<br />
<br />
In her chapter titled <i>Extinguished Tapers</i> Isobel talks of how she finally decides to leave the <i>Misty Flats</i> and pursue the <i>High Way</i>, a pursuit only a few take. As she is reading a romance novel, the Lord speaks to her and shows her that she is feeding all of her earthly feelings but nothing of the spiritual. She is led to completely let go of all the worldly things that she had clung to -- novels, dancing, movies, etc. all the things which fed her flesh but failed to feed her soul.<br />
<br />
I was so moved by this chapter. This was the <i>third</i> time that the Lord was bringing this matter to my attention. It was time to let go of my stubbornness and surrender to God's leading. I don't need the things of this world to satisfy my heart. And even beyond that, I know I am missing out on beautiful discoveries when I fill my life with things that are not of God. <i>"My Rising Sun had planned many things to fill the place of my extinguished tapers, but each was to be a separate and delightful discovery" (Isobel Kuhn, 52).</i><br />
<br />
I don't know about you, but I think it's been a long time that I have failed to take seriously the things that I fill my life with. Up until now, I can see that I have not completely sacrificed my old way of living to take up the cross and pursue the <i>High Way</i>. I know that it's in that place of complete surrender that the Lord can best make Himself known to me and use me for His glory. I no longer want menial, worldly things to stand in the way of that. The trash music, entertainment television, sensational movies, romance novels - they all feed my flesh but do nothing for my spiritual life, they fill me with things of the world and nothing of the Lord. Yes, we are in this world but we are also called to be set apart from it. I'm tired of living in Christian prosperity that sends the message that if we follow this "Jesus Culture" where we check off the Christian to-do list of church attendance, weekly Bible study, and Christian rock-star concerts that we are good to go. That we can live our lives like everyone else, throw in a prayer for someone along the way, and claim our reward in Heaven. Because really, it's so much more than that. Because really this "Jes(us) Culture" tends to focus on US and takes the glory away from HIM. When we give our whole lives away (not just the parts we're comfortable with) we experience deep transformation and the focus is brought not on <i>us</i> but on <i>Him.</i><br />
<br />
So what worldly things remain in your life that satisfy your flesh but rob your soul? What things have you allowed to build up a barrier from you experiencing the very heart of a pure and perfect God? I dare you to think outside the box. Outside of what even our Jes(us) Culture applauds. Bring everything that you fill your life with to God and seriously pray about whether it should be there or not. Is it time to cut out secular music? What about evaluating even modern-day Christian music? How about romance or fiction novels that provide a false escape rather than true freedom in Christ? Movies that fill you with vulgarity? Those friends who are non-believers who you just<i> know</i> you'll be the light to and <i>that's</i> why you go out partying with them?<br />
<br />
Call me radical. Call me narrow-minded. Call me crazy. Or call me a daughter of the King who desires to lead a pure and holy life so that God may use me for His glory. Call me a disciple of God who desires to take up the cross and give it <i>all</i> away for His Kingdom. May H<i>e</i> receive the glory, and the honor, and the praise forever and ever - and may my selfishness and stubbornness not get in the way.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background-color: white;">Therefore, if anyone is in Christ,</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28895A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white;"> the new creation</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28895B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white;"> has come:<b> </b></span><span style="background-color: white;">The old has gone, the new is here! </span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><i>2 Corinthians 5:17</i></span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="font-family: inherit;">Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-- think about such things." Philippians 4:8</i></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-25224741909475666772014-04-07T04:00:00.002+02:002016-07-13T18:58:50.944+02:00So In Love <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
OKAY so this morning's message was just so awesome that I felt it necessary to share such words of wisdom and save my own thoughts for another time. We had a guest speaker this morning at church, and a lot of the sermon was taken from Paul Miller's "The Love Course." So I don't claim any of these thoughts to be my own (except of course I've added personal commentary).<br />
<br />
First of all, I thought the speaker was absolutely hilarious. I just want to say, I so appreciate humor and how the Lord both laughs and cries with us. For those who believe God is constrained to the four walls of a church or that faith is only a serious matter of a bunch of rules and constraints - you are mistaken. The truth is a love relationship with God includes a ton of fun and laughter and freedom and life to the full and and and just a bunch of wonderful things that words cannot describe!<br />
<br />
So the sermon was a classic message on the greatest commandment - to love.<br />
<br />
We've all heard it so much that I can't help but feel that sometimes it goes from one ear out the other. "Love your neighbor as yourself" "Love God with all your heart, and all your mind, and all your soul" "Love never fails" yeah yeah yeah - it's in there. Many of us would most definitely cling to the fact that we love God. But what does that even mean? Are we even capable of this kind of love?<br />
<br />
<i>Not on our own accord. </i><br />
<br />
I woke up the other morning feeling pretty crummy and shameful. I write out my prayers a lot (not cause I'm super holy but because I'm super distracted) and what came out was just a flow of awe and wonder at how the Lord could love me even when I am absolutely <i>incapable</i> of returning such love. How the Lord could forgive me again and again every-single-time that I fall down. How He could welcome me back with opened arms and unconditional love that's deeper than I can imagine and unable to return. Yet He does. And it's just amazing.<br />
<br />
So how do we love God and love others? Sometimes it seems impossible to me, because well it is. It is absolutely impossible to love God and love others on my own accord. I am WAY too easily self-centered, my world so QUICKLY turns within to myself - by my own efforts I am nothing but a world of one, a world of self.<br />
<br />
BUT I have the greatest gift. The gift of the Holy Spirit which lives within me - a God who is LOVE that chooses to make <i>His</i> temple within <i>me</i>! That is just...okay obviously my words are failing me because it is just SO beyond incredible to me that no adjective could properly explain it. So [insert beautiful adjective here].<br />
<br />
Okay this is all my commentary and I haven't even gotten to the sermon! We were given a handout titled "The Look of Love" - Authentic Christlikeness Defined. The title itself draws me in - I'm a logical person, so how to be like Christ: defined. Yes, thank you!<br />
<br />
"The Fact of the Matter: If we're ever to <i>be</i> like Jesus, we must learn to <i><b>love</b></i> like Jesus"<br />
<br />
A table follows that compares Jesus' style of relating (and ours by the Spirit) with our natural (fleshly) style of relating. If this isn't convicting, I don't know what is:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
Jesus - unity, oneness, openness, and intimacy with God and others (Jn. 17:21-23, Col 2:2)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>vs. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Our Natural - shallow relationships, surface communication, resistance to true intimacy </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Jesus - committed to dying to self in order to live for and bless others </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>vs</i>. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Our Natural - committed to self-protection and the avoidance of pain and self-sacrifice</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Jesus - eager to bear one anothers' burdens - "let me carry it!" Lk 10:33ff</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>vs. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Our Natural - avoidance of the burdens of others - "passing by on the other side" Lk 10:30ff</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Jesus - tenderness of heart - "we have a problem." "When you hurt, I hurt" Rom 12:15; 1 Cor 12:25, 26</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>vs. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Our Natural - hardness of heart - "you have a problem, not me" When you hurt, I run. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Jesus - looks AT and talks TO people. Gives them dignity. Blind Men: Matt 20:32, John 9:1, 2</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>vs. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Our Natural - the Disciples talk ABOUT not to the blind man (Jn 9:1); when we depersonalize people, love dies (when we see, but don't look)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Jesus --- love like this must flow from a super-natural force</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>vs. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Our Natural - this is the way we "love" apart from the Spirit's power </div>
<br />
The speaker challenged us to ask those around us and our families whether they feel loved by us. That was convicting for me. I seem to love easily when I commit to serve people for a few hours a week but it's just so much harder with family or those who I'm with 24/7 (something that I face now). I always wondered why that is and I realized this morning that it's because love isn't just an act that we can check off of our list, it's not reserved for only certain people or only convenient times of our day, it's not something we can create on our own or fit into our plan.<br />
<br />
Love is a matter of the heart and soul; it becomes part of our identity when the Spirit of love dwells within us and seeps into everything we do and everyone we are with.<br />
<br />
And okay, as believers we're not always going to be perfect at extending love. While we have the gift of the Spirit, we often fail to hear or receive that Spirit. We're all a work-in-progress, and just like a regular harvest it is a <i>process</i> for the fruits of the Spirit to grow within us. Our love will be a series of ups and downs, but if we are following the Lord daily I believe that at the end of our lives we will be able to see a progression of ups and downs that grew us more and more into authentic Christ-likeness.<br />
<br />
That's why I believe daily communion with the Lord is SO important. Not just because it's a spiritual discipline or what a good Christian "ought" to do. But because it is impossible to have the fruits of the Spirit - love, joy, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal 5:22-23) - on our own accord. I pray that a spirit of authentic desire would develop in us to spend time with the Creator of Love. That through that time, the Lord may authentically become our greatest love and enable us to love others by the love He pours out to us.<br />
<br />
Like a tree, love's root is the Gospel --> hearing and believing it is faith --> and receiving it produces the Fruits of the Spirit which grow more and more within us as we walk daily with the Lord.<br />
<br />
I'm beyond grateful to be in love with the author of a romance so much deeper than I can comprehend. He has my heart now and forever and I can trust it to Him because His promises are true and He is faithful even when I am not. I am unworthy to receive such love but humbled that I get to receive this gift daily. A little more is unwrapped for me each day that I choose to receive this gift. It's a gift I want to freely give to others just as it has been freely given to me. I pray that more and more will hear it and receive it, so we can together grow in understanding just how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="text Eph-3-16" id="en-NIV-29268" style="background-color: white;"><b>"</b></span><span class="text Eph-3-16" style="background-color: white;">I pray that out of his glorious riches<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29268A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></span> he may strengthen you with power<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29268B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></span> through his Spirit in your inner being,</span><span class="text Eph-3-17" id="en-NIV-29269" style="background-color: white;"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;"> </span>so that Christ may dwell in your hearts<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29269D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></span> through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29269E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)"></span> and established in love,</span><span class="text Eph-3-18" id="en-NIV-29270" style="background-color: white;"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;"> </span>may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people,<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29270F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)"></span> to grasp how wide and long and high and deep<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29270G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)"></span> is the love of Christ." Ephesians 3:16-18</span></i></span></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-37406969704329408112014-03-28T17:46:00.000+01:002016-07-13T19:00:04.964+02:00Twenty-Three<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i><span style="background-color: white;">"And we know that for those who love God all things work together </span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-28129A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white;">for good,</span><span style="background-color: white;"><b> </b></span><span style="background-color: white;">for </span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-28129B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white;">those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28</span></i></span></blockquote>
Wooh! 23 years young. Most people know that in general, I'm a fan of birthdays - they're like your own personal New Years. A time to look back on the year completed and the year ahead of you. It is just so good to take the time to reflect on God's work in my life; to see His hand in every piece of the year before and to experience a growing trust and hope for His continual presence within this next year.<br />
<br />
So what adventures did God take me on and what lessons did I learn in year 22? There were definitely some good moments:<br />
<br />
This time last year I was celebrating my birthday in Hong Kong. When I look back to this exact date last year I laugh at God's sense of humor and how He can bring things full circle.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I backpacked China with my sister and learned that not only can we tolerate each other 24/7 but we actually enjoy each other 24/7, she is most definitely one of my favorite travel buddies.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I graduated college ready to be done for good and learned that after less than one year I miss school already and realize Baylor was an incredible training ground that helped lay a faith foundation in my life.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I took a leap of faith in relationship and moved to Indiana. I learned that relationship at the core comes down to making a decision and involves sacrifice - and you have to be willing to do both.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I worked at a homeless shelter and learned a lot about homelessness. I made friends in Winona Lake that exemplified for me what life on mission looks like and inspired me on a whole other level.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I visited my best friend in Virginia and got to see DC for the first time and learned that there is no one in the world like Emily Jones (though I probably already knew that).<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I experienced God speaking to me through dreams and learned that He shows up in many different ways in life.<br />
<br />
I went through the smoothest break-up of my life and learned that exes really can stay friends.<br />
<br />
I finally laid it all down and faced my fears head on in a hospitalization treatment program and learned that compassion and patience should just as much be extended to yourself as it is to others.<br />
<br />
I lived at home for the longest time since high school and learned to have peace in taking a "life break."<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I landed my first salary job at an international adoption agency and left it all when the Spirit said "No." For the first time, I learned to obey with no plan B or even an understanding of why. I learned to trust my Lord who sees what I do not and who promises to lead me according to His will.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I became a first-time aunt to the most precious baby boy in the world and learned that auntie-life is the best life to have. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I committed to serve with BVS and went through a 3-week long orientation where I learned that there are many beliefs within Christianity and a humble and listening ear is so valuable to be able to have inter-faith dialogue.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I flew to small-town Mill Spring in North Carolina to serve here at CooperRiis, where I am learning how to work with mental health for the first time and learning the simple farm life.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Now here I am - blown away by all the experiences and changes that I face every year of my life. Reminded of how much I need God in my daily life to be able to sustain in transition and stay grounded in Him. My life may not always be so adventurous and I look forward to that stage in life when I can call a place home, a job my career, a man my husband, and some rascals my kids. But even if one day my life seems "settled" I know that every day is sure to bring new surprises and challenges. I know that God is using this time to prepare me and to teach me how to trust Him in the midst of ever-changing circumstances. To understand with all certainty that His promises are sovereign above all situations and hardships. To rest in the fact that God is my home.<br />
<br />
I whole-heartedly believe that the Lord brings <i>good </i>out of <i>everything</i> for those who believe in Him. It blows my mind that Christ would die on the cross for me. That all of the history in the Old Testament came together for God's overarching plan - to bring salvation for all who choose to follow Him. What a priceless gift! The gift I will celebrate the most on this birthday of mine - that I can have life and a relationship with the Creator and have the Spirit dwell within me. Though I deserve death, I am given life and all the blessings within it. Wow, Father, my body shakes with awe and gratitude. How wonderful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-75575187554224388052014-03-18T16:34:00.003+01:002016-07-13T19:00:30.304+02:00Serving the Un-served. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><i>Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, </i></span><i>always abounding in the work of the Lord, </i></span><i style="font-family: inherit;">knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:58</i></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">So I just had my one-month anniversary here at CooperRiis and my goodness what a time it has been. There has been a LOT going on here at the farm, most of which I cannot talk about. I would love to just ask you all to continue to lift up CooperRiis, the residents and staff, and myself in your prayers. There can be a lot of darkness in a place that handles mental illness, anxiety, and depression. It saddens me to see how people who suffer with these types of illnesses are mostly stigmatized rather than loved in society. We so overly focus our attention to certain charities or demographics - orphans, sex trafficking, poverty, etc</span>. that we tend to abandon the not-so-popular vulnerabilities like mental illness or intellectual disability. Don't get me wrong, I love adorable Chinese babies or the immediate satisfaction that comes from feeding the homeless...but let's face it, we receive a blessing from these acts of justice just as much (if not more) than those receiving it. Sometimes, I think it would be good for us to take a step back and evaluate whether our acts of service stem from pure servanthood or desire for self-entitlement. I mean, we're human...it happens. Yet there's something that rubs me the wrong way when someone says the main purpose they serve is because "it makes them feel good." It's not a bad result, but should it be our number one incentive?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Now different people have different convictions and I think that is one of the beauties of the body of Christ. We all hold different passions and like to serve within those areas, but what if we branched out a little bit more? During morning meeting the other day, one of the staff members encouraged residents to use this time on the farm to channel a new part of themselves, to experiment with something they have never tried. Grew up in the suburbs? Try milking a goat on animal crew. Addicted to soda and junk food? Try an all-organic diet. Have a maid growing up? Scrub the toilets and mop the floors on campus crew. We all grew up in different ways, in different places, bred with different habits and different lifestyles. I am so inspired by people here who grew up in the city and discovered a passion for gardening and agriculture. They went out of their comfort zone to try something unfamiliar and discovered a lifework that they loved and enjoyed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;">It makes me wonder how much we might miss out on if we never try new things or allow ourselves to get out of our comfort zones. </span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I might be bias. I think the Lord has placed a spirit in me that does enjoy change, that enjoys diversity in people and within work. I have lessened my judgment towards those who may stay in the same place or do the same thing their whole lives - maybe that is part of the spirit that God has placed in them, one of longevity and contentment. <i>But I think we do need to be careful with just how comfortable we allow ourselves to be.</i> I believe that it is often in times of discomfort that we find God. Not to say that you need to jump off a building and break your leg to find the Lord in your pain - but rather to engage in areas of unfamiliarity that allow the Spirit to guide and teach you within the unknown.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I think this applies 100-fold in our acts of service. </span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;">Jesus didn't tell His disciples to be a servant to</span><i style="font-family: inherit;"> just </i><span style="font-family: inherit;">the widows or the orphans or the poor. He tells them to be a servant to ALL.</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In my first ministry class, I chose to study orphan ministry and I felt very drawn towards this area over others. Course I was a baby. I really hadn't experienced many other areas at all; and so I mostly went with what I thought I would enjoy. As I explored other areas outside of orphan work, I discovered that I have several stigmas that lie within my heart. Several of these stigmas have just recently risen to the surface as I serve a demographic that is often ignored, is one of the more difficult demographics to work with, and may not ever provide a personal satisfaction. Yet I serve because the Spirit has given me a Spirit of power and love and discipline (2 Timothy 1:7) and a desire to spread the hope of Jesus to others - not for my gain, but for theirs and for the glory of His Kingdom. There are many, many different evils in this world and there are many different people who are in need. We can't meet every need, we can't serve every person...but maybe it's time we at least open our minds to advocate for those who don't have many advocates. Maybe it's time we serve <i>wherever </i>we may be led, not just to places that bring us the most personal satisfaction.</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><i>I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. John 16:33</i></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We cannot save the world, but we serve a God who has overcome and has offered a way for people to be saved. If we are to be His disciples then we are to serve <i>all</i> - the elderly who resents you, the teenager who curses at you, the cripple whose appearance makes you uncomfortable, the schizophrenic who scares you, the bagger who gives you an attitude, the driver next to you who cuts you off. Our service is not only how we act, but how we react, how we treat others, how we extend love on a daily, hourly basis. Do we lay down our lives or do we expect others to respect us first? Do we favor serving some over others? Do we serve just because it makes us feel good or because we genuinely love God's people and desire to serve them in His Name?</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Psalm 32:8</span></i></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">As I continue to live and serve here at CooperRiis, the Lord continues to teach me how to be a servant of pure motive and heart. It is most definitely a process, but by His Spirit I learn little by little how to serve people who may hate me in return. How to love those who throw things or curse at me. How to lay down my life over and over that I may reflect a Savior who laid down His own life - not for the righteous, but for the sinners.</span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-81151380735399572062014-03-04T18:32:00.001+01:002016-07-13T19:00:48.431+02:00Rooted.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
So it's March and we're officially immersed within the year of 2014. The holidays and all the hype surrounding them has officially faded, Christmas decorations have been put away (well hopefully), and spring is on the horizon. So what does that mean? Well, that means it's been a few months since we set those New Years Resolutions. Remember those? I know...I sort of already forgot mine too.<br />
<br />
One I do remember and a resolution I know many set, is to begin a new Bible plan. Read through the Bible in a year, or two years, or the New Testament in 6 months, so on and so forth. I think it's great that many churches encourage a Bible reading plan as part of your New Years Resolution. What better practice to start off your year then to dig into a book that contains all the wisdom you need, comfort for every circumstance, and a holy experience when you commune <i>with</i> the Spirit as you read.<br />
<br />
Has it become like every other New Years Resolution though? Does it die off after the first three weeks?<br />
<br />
So, okay story time. When I was a freshman in college and had just re-dedicated my life I went through a bit of a roller-coaster with my faith. I went from radical/highly emotional, Pentecostal-esque believer to luke-warm Christian to questioning Christian within the first two years. I had been through a similar experience within the last decade, fluctuating between fully following Christ with all my heart to doubting it all and preferring intellectualism. I started to wonder whether I would be stuck in this roller-coaster faith my whole life. One day, a member of my sorority stood up in front of one of our meetings and shared with us that she had been struggling with an eating disorder and had fallen into depression. She told us about how she experienced the redemption of Christ and had found healing when she finally decided to take her faith seriously.<br />
<br />
I was really humbled by her honesty and it struck a big chord in my heart.<br />
<br />
Later, while at the bottom of my roller-coaster - I messaged her and asked what was the turning point? What did it mean to finally "take faith seriously?" I thought I had taken God and my faith seriously so why was I still facing doubts and a constant fluctuation in my faith? She gave me a piece of advice. She told me that I needed to start getting into the Word daily. Not in a legalistic, read 15 chapters a day kind of way; but in an obedient, genuine, I want to know more about Jesus kind of way. She warned me that I wouldn't always<i> feel</i> like it, I wouldn't always be <i>happy</i> when my alarm went off an hour earlier than usual; but that's okay. Our relationship with the Lord is deeper than feelings, but the more obedient we are to spending one-on-one time with Him the stronger our relationship will grow. With that, comes a stronger desire to be in the Word, a better ability to learn how to be still in the presence of God, and a stronger sense of His Spirit that develops within you His wisdom and goodness and love.<br />
<br />
When I decided to commit myself to the Word, my faith grew leaps and bounds. When new believers approach me now and ask me how to get started on this faith thing, I smile because I see myself.<br />
<br />
We have been designed to need a constant re-fueling of the Lord and His grace. I once heard an analogy that we are like a car and the Lord is the one behind the gas pump. We are designed to run out of gas. It's a wonderful thing, because if we weren't we might drive off into the distance and convince ourselves that we're the ones in charge, we've got this taken care of. But eeeertt, that's not how it works. We<i> </i>must<i> always</i> return to get out tanks filled again and again, which helps continually reminds us of who is the One behind the gas pump and ultimately in control of our journey.<br />
<br />
So that's why it is absolutely necessary that we spend time with the Lord and in His Word to be re-fueled and to grow. In Mark 4, Jesus says that many will see but not perceive, hear but not understand. The parable of the Sower describes that some may hear and receive the word, but will fall away quickly because they have no root. Others will hear but the worries of life, deceitfulness of wealth, and desire for other things will come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. And yet others, will hear the word, accept it as truth, and will be fruitful up to a hundred times what was sown (Paraphrase v. 12-20). When we are deeply rooted in God's word, we can finally get off of our roller-coaster and grow steadily in faith.<br />
<br />
Jesus says that the kingdom of God is like a mustard seed. Though it is the smallest of all seeds on earth, when it is planted it grows and becomes the largest of all plants. "He did not say anything to them without using a parable. But when he was alone with his own disciples, he explained everything" (Mark 4:34). Jesus grew His disciples in wisdom and understanding in times that He was alone with them. Likewise, it's in our personal time with the Lord and in His word that He grows us and keeps us deeply rooted in Him.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow starts the season of Lent. I'm not Catholic, but I like the idea of Lent and have participated it the past few years - either adopting a new behavior or fasting from an old one to grow more dependent on the Lord and be more intentional in my time with Him. I'll be giving up make-up this year and adopting a vegan diet (giving up cheese and eggs will be a big stretch for me!). Along with that though, I have a few prayer practices that I plan on incorporating into my week and want to start being more intentional with having time for prayer and silence before bed at night. I encourage you to think about how you might spend this Lent season! Whether it's picking back up that New Years Resolution to dig into the Word of God, fasting from something that may keep you from personal devotion, or trying out a new prayer or journal practice - it is <i>never ever</i> too late to be intentional with your faith.<br />
<br />
Imagine the trees that could grow if we all surrendered our lives and our time to be deeply rooted in the Lord! Together we would form such a beautiful garden and our strong branches would be an even stronger testimony to the world - how God could take such tiny mustard seeds and grow them in a way that would display the fullness of His glory.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-73030695599589199652014-02-28T13:42:00.003+01:002014-02-28T15:00:53.758+01:00Human Being or Human Doing?Well, I just ended my evening sitting around a chimney fire, telling jokes, and knitting with residents. This is my "job," my new life for the next few months. It's crazy to think I've been here only two weeks. The CooperRiis community is so loving and welcoming, I feel like I'm already part of the family here.<br />
<br />
My first week was full of life lessons and a growing compassion for people and health. The farm is really beautiful, and I'm on the third floor with a spectacular view of the mountains out my window. With my little chair I face out that direction every morning in solitude and devotion - I am truly grateful.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c2yY8HDcDL4/Uw-jWcjhNKI/AAAAAAAAAuo/rlcUffmPiWc/s1600/photo+(3).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c2yY8HDcDL4/Uw-jWcjhNKI/AAAAAAAAAuo/rlcUffmPiWc/s1600/photo+(3).JPG" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-W3q4Kslo2tg/Uw-jR_d34jI/AAAAAAAAAug/z2bo4h58o9k/s1600/photo+(2).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-W3q4Kslo2tg/Uw-jR_d34jI/AAAAAAAAAug/z2bo4h58o9k/s1600/photo+(2).JPG" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
So I have already experienced many firsts! For the first time the airport lost my baggage, which made for an interesting first few days living off of sample toiletries and clothes from the "free bin." I went snow-tubing for the first time (in Toms y'all, I was not prepared..), learned how to knit (and I'm progressing with less and less "love spots"), and took a shot at archery last weekend (channeled my inner-Katniss of course). There's really no other way to explain my time here so far without using the word "fun." I really am having a blast living here and working alongside residents.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Zb44WGYOadY/Uw-imFqTBLI/AAAAAAAAAuM/riW5q4xI76E/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Zb44WGYOadY/Uw-imFqTBLI/AAAAAAAAAuM/riW5q4xI76E/s1600/photo.JPG" height="298" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H9qcunTatis/Uw-jp4gZ3bI/AAAAAAAAAuw/NuKRiJ7XV8Y/s1600/photo+(4).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H9qcunTatis/Uw-jp4gZ3bI/AAAAAAAAAuw/NuKRiJ7XV8Y/s1600/photo+(4).JPG" height="400" width="286" /></a></div>
So at the CooperRiis farm, everyone is divided into different crews to take on various responsibilities. There is Kitchen, Garden, Farm, and Campus Crew where workers and residents work side by side throughout the day. For most of my first week I helped out on Campus Crew, a team which helps keep the lodges and facilities clean and tidy. The days flew by and I noticed that much of the daily routine on the farm is focused on "being." While I squeezed oranges alongside a resident who peeled potatoes, scrubbed the shower while a resident wiped the counters, I did so methodically - there was no deadlines, nothing was urgent, there was no ending product that I had to stress about. I was simply <i>being</i> in the moment, building relationships as I worked alongside residents.<br />
<br />
One day, as I swept the stairs and mopped it down my mind snapped and I thought "I have a college degree." I realized the work I was doing was comparative to a janitorial position and for a split second the mentality to DO and ACCOMPLISH tried to creep in. We live in a society that SO emphasizes accomplishment and success and money, but I personally desire none of it. I have felt extremely fulfilled the last few days with work that allows me to be fully present in the moment, not caught worrying about the future or the next task. I have been able to <i>be</i> fully engaged in a task that simply needs to be completed, to <i>be</i> fully intentional with the team around me, to <i>be</i> fully embracing every moment. Friends! It has been such a beautiful thing. I think for so long I've been wrapped up in this task-driven mindset that I began to feel less like a human <i>being</i> and more like a human <i>doing. </i>Eventually life had started to feel like a compilation of worthless actions lacking heart or soul or real meaning.<br />
<br />
I used to bring this into my faith as well. I want to DO BIG things for God! I want to MOVE MOUNTAINS. I want to ESTABLISH an incredible ministry. But then wait - who have I made it about then? In Matthew, when Jesus talks about the high officials and social hierarchy which aims at authority he tells the disciples that it should not be so with them. INSTEAD, he says<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"<i>whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave - just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Matt 20:26).</i></span><br />
<br />
Jesus tells us that we are to be the complete opposite of what society tells us. Rather than aiming for power over others, we are to humble ourselves as their servant.<br />
<br />
I was scrubbing floors... and having a Jesus moment, feeling grateful that the Lord had brought me to this place where I found authentic joy in being whatever I needed to be in order to love and serve this community in whatever way it needs it. Cause see, there's a difference between forced service and authentic service. Sometimes, when we feel that WE need to be the ones to <i>do, do, do</i> for others... we get burnt out. Yet when we switch our mentality to surrender to the Lord and simply fall in love with Him, we find that we more easily love others. We begin to genuinely <i>desire</i> to love and serve them.<br />
<br />
Jesus said,<i> "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me" (Matt 25:40). </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<span style="font-style: italic;">"Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you'll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you're content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty." (Matt 23:11-12, MSG)</span><br />
<br />
When we serve and love God, the Spirit enables us to serve and love others and see them as made in His very image. As you surrender to the love that God pours into your heart, the outpour of that love will flow to others.<br />
<br />
My time here on the farm has been so eye opening! As the Lord works in me, I am reminded of His sovereignty over all my weaknesses and shortcomings. To think He could use me as an outlet for His words and His actions and His love is overwhelming! My desire is that more would come to know the beauty of simply <i>being</i>. I asked myself the other day - if money didn't exist, if society considered all work equally acceptable, if power and success and recognition were completely taken out of the picture...What would I enjoy? How would I use my energy and my time?<br />
<br />
Honestly...I don't know. So so much of me has been molded by these things that I have had to stop and reflect on what kind of person God has designed me to be. What talents, skills, traits would I utilize if nothing in society held me back?<br />
<br />
The truth is, we can walk in freedom from this world if we choose to. Jesus set us free to have eternal, intimate communion with God, a relationship that unveils our soul's identity and reveals the beautiful design He created within us. I'm still in the process of discovering that design. Sometimes the process hurts and sometimes it's really exciting and rejuvenating. Wherever you are in the process, my prayer is that you won't allow the world and its lies of what you should and shouldn't do stand in the way of discovering genuine freedom to BE, to LIVE fully, and to LOVE every second.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-37622648112717350122014-02-10T15:40:00.000+01:002014-02-10T15:56:09.098+01:00The Luck of the Irish <div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><i>And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><i>for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28</i></span></div>
<br />
Oh wow, where do I begin? We are officially on our last week
of BVS orientation here in Florida! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Orientation itself has been a really good
experience. For food, we are given $0.75 for breakfast, $1 for lunch, and $1
for dinner. In food groups of 3-4 people we take turns cooking for our group of
15 as a way to learn how to “live simply.” We have talked about issues of
poverty, types of conflict, and working styles. We have had several workdays –
we have worked at a community center in Orlando, pulled weeds at Camp Ithiel,
had “Drop Off Day” where we were dropped in Apopka and told to “Go Serve,” and
worked at an Organic Farm in Tampa. I have lived, worked, played, and formed a family with these people who were strangers to me exactly two weeks ago. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everyone in the orientation group is so so
different! I really
do appreciate the diversity of our group though; the diverse personalities,
viewpoints, lifestyles, and beliefs. It’s a real dose of real life and I learn
from it more and more every day. So while all of this group meshing, bonding, and working was going on – in the back of all of our minds was the golden question -- “Where in the world will we be
placed?!” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I have ever experienced the fear of the unknown it was within the placement process.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I mean I had bought a one-way ticket to <st1:state w:st="on">Florida</st1:state>…unsure of where I would be next, open and willing to go wherever yes, but most definitely coming to a new understanding of Jesus’ repeated command, “Do not fear.” You better believe stress levels were high for all of us at the beginning. Being the anxious person I am, I got to work right away at scanning over every project file. I took many runs, listened to many songs of encouragement, reminded myself of God’s provision through His Word, and of course, as an extrovert, vented to my new BVS friends. So to say the least, the placement process was stressful.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><i>Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105</i></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought I pretty much knew
what projects I was interested in, but of course as a group you become influenced
by one another. One of my Food Group members voiced interest in my number 1
project, a girl who I was closer with completely changed her mind from South
America to New York, the girl I bonded with most had pretty much
already locked in one project I was looking at – BAH. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, mind you, in orientation every day seems 14 hours long
because so much happens within every hour. So after having my mind toss and
turn a million times over I decided I needed to <b>stop</b> and <b>surrender</b>, go to the Lord in <b>prayer </b>and
just <b>trust</b>. That being said, I am sooo grateful for those who supported me in
this time with their prayers. I strongly believe in the power of prayer – and
my placement is testimony to that. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I had narrowed my projects down to three options, and had sufficiently stressed
out when I heard someone else was interested in my number one choice. After
talking to the international coordinator, the executive director pulled me
aside to show me a message he had received. A project had<i>
just</i> opened up last minute, an affiliate of East Belfast Mission – an
inner-city ministry that I had been really interested in but was not taking
anyone for our winter unit. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Would I be interested?</i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-umM0R39Yj1o/UvjjJHcx86I/AAAAAAAAAtc/kdratoYHlEU/s1600/econ_belfast19__01__630x420.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-umM0R39Yj1o/UvjjJHcx86I/AAAAAAAAAtc/kdratoYHlEU/s1600/econ_belfast19__01__630x420.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My head completely swarmed. I had been praying fiercely for open opportunities, for guidance, and ultimately
for God’s will to be done. Then BOOM. Open door. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">Trust in the </span><span class="sc" style="background-color: white;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white;"> with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. </span></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6</span></i></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Outwardly, I calmly told my director that I would be interested at
looking into the project further. While inwardly, I wanted to run and jump with joy at this new opportunity so suddenly opened for me. I prayed and prayed, and decided to replace
my number one project preference with this new project that I still knew little
about but felt strongly pulled towards. Over the weekend, I sat down with
staff to discuss my preferences, had an interview with the international
coordinator, and on Wednesday was told that the project had accepted me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All of these e-mails were thrown at me about the project and
all its details. I was overwhelmed to say the least. I wanted to be sure that
this project was truly where God wanted me before giving them any decision, so I
told them I would have to pray about everything and would confirm as soon as
possible. Suddenly all of these apprehensions rushed to my mind – What if I actually wanted
my #2 preference? Maybe I should actually serve domestically first? What if,
maybe, blah blah blah. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Eeeerrk, stop. Surrender. </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(I’m telling ya, to surrender is most definitely a daily
process..an hourly process..)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay this is getting way too long and people have probably
given up on figuring out where the heck I’m actually going! So anyway the next morning, I wrote the international coordinator –
yes, I would accept this new project! When I walked into breakfast I told Callie
(staff) about my confirmation and she let me know that they had already booked the flight to my interim project two days before. What?! I was so affirmed to
know that staff had so much confidence in me and knew what decision I would ultimately make, despite my inner wishy-washiness.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oRkNcETX33E/Uvjjig99NII/AAAAAAAAAts/2l2zXKgw52M/s1600/64807-004-CFF56F2D.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oRkNcETX33E/Uvjjig99NII/AAAAAAAAAts/2l2zXKgw52M/s1600/64807-004-CFF56F2D.gif" height="175" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8sPGRY5t3ts/UvjjpMJ93LI/AAAAAAAAAuA/Al33xtInrx0/s1600/belfastimage2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8sPGRY5t3ts/UvjjpMJ93LI/AAAAAAAAAuA/Al33xtInrx0/s1600/belfastimage2.jpg" height="246" width="400" /></a></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>SO friends – it’s
official! I will be serving for two years in <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Belfast</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st="on">Northern Ireland</st1:country-region></st1:place>. (Fact: <st1:country-region w:st="on">Northern Ireland</st1:country-region>
is a different country than <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Ireland</st1:place></st1:country-region>).
I’ll be working with Gary Mason, past mission superintendent of East Belfast <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Mission</st1:place></st1:city> and the new leader
of a program called Journey towards Healing. I will be working with him to
improve local and international community relations. I will be staying at
Skainos, a community center where ministries for people of all ages and all
levels of society come together. The church is at the center of this complex,
symbolizing how the body of Christ should be at the center of local outreach
and the local community.</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M0lFUSvMWG4/UvjjmFkURkI/AAAAAAAAAt4/ArDiBJFylWg/s1600/East-Belfast-21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M0lFUSvMWG4/UvjjmFkURkI/AAAAAAAAAt4/ArDiBJFylWg/s1600/East-Belfast-21.jpg" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>My international
project will not start until July 1<sup>st</sup> of 2014 and so I will begin the
process of preparing within these next few months. As I wait and prepare I will
be serving at an interim project for 5 months in <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Mill Spring</st1:city>, <st1:state w:st="on">North Carolina</st1:state></st1:place>.
I will be working for CooperRiis, which is a Healing Farm for those suffering
with mental illness, anxiety, and depression. I’ll be living and working
alongside residents, maintaining the facilities, building relationships, and
just loving people during my time there. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will try to keep everyone posted to how God works and what
He is sure to teach me within these next couple of years. This new project that
came out of the blue is one of the most vivid answers to prayer I have ever
received, and I know I have many of my prayer supporters to thank for that. This
opportunity is only by the grace of God and my one desire is that He may
receive the glory with every relationship that is made and work that is done
through this mission. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would love to send out occasional newsletters to those who
would like to receive specific project updates from me throughout my time of
service. If you would like to receive these e-mails just sign up here: <a href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?fromEmail=true&formkey=dGhTaVZreC1WOExCM2hEYmxBcm10Q1E6MA">Contact Information Form </a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you want to hear more information about the project or
would like to support me in other ways before I go, feel free to reach out and
message me on Facebook or e-mail me at <a href="mailto:secaldwell@outlook.com">secaldwell@outlook.com</a>.
Love you guys! </div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-37869400240581784732014-01-20T04:14:00.002+01:002016-07-14T11:33:42.578+02:00To Missions and Beyond So I figured it was time for an update on my life because 1) people have verbalized their frustrations with my lack of updates to where I now feel part guilty and 2) I most definitely want to recruit some prayer warriors as I begin this path that God is leading me down.<br />
<br />
The Lord placed a huge impression on my heart several years ago when I fell in love with a small group ministry that I led. After coming from a really broken time in my life, I was able to truly learn what it meant to have the Spirit equip you despite your inadequacies. It was beautiful. From the start, I felt God leading me towards international missions. Yeahhh...at that point I had never been on an airplane. So I was like "That's crazy God. Is this me? It's gotta be me cause that's crazy."<br />
<br />
The beautiful thing about brokenness is that it brings you to a place of complete surrender. The Lord had brought me to a place where I was able to finally realize that I was<i> nothing</i> without Him. My plans <i>meant nothing</i> if they were aimed towards anything but His glory. At the time my plans mostly pointed towards my own success, power, and society's approval. I realized, I didn't want any of it if it was apart from the will of God.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;">When I let go of my own plans, my own dreams, my own desires - I found a very wonderful thing. I found the very heart of Jesus. </span></blockquote>
When I came to a place that I was able to simply enjoy the presence of God I was transformed deeply. So yeah, I still thought Him leading me towards ministry was crazy, but sometimes what might seem crazy on the surface is in fact a deep-rooted plan created by God before you were even born. He uses the <i>unexpected</i>, the<i> ill-equipped</i>, the <i>willing</i>, the<i> broken</i> and equips them with His words, His action, His power. Not for their own glory or the approval of man; but for His glory, for His Kingdom, for His plan.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23.399999618530273px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>“And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.”</i></span></span> <i style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 23.399999618530273px;">2 Corinthians 5:15</i></span></blockquote>
So in obedience, I said yes - I wasn't sure how everything would pan out but I trusted in His sovereignty and as I daily experienced His presence I further trusted that He knew best. Flash forward several years and the Lord has led me in ways I could have never imagined. He has used me to lead others, to love other cultures, to be mentored in ministry, and to continue to prepare me for this path that He has for me. <br />
<br />
As a disclaimer, I want to clear something up. I believe that to pursue ministry, to become a missionary, or a pastor, or whatever - is no "higher" a calling than to be a businessman, or a nanny, or a garbage man. Is the expectation higher? Yes, according to Scripture it should be - but the level of righteousness is not higher. You don't have to go to Africa and serve in an orphanage to be the most "righteous" Christian. I strongly, strongly believe that we are all called to be missionaries - yet God leads us all uniquely,<i> according to His plan</i>, whether that's to serve within a secular workplace, within your own home, or within the slums of the Philippines.<br />
<br />
So I want to clear that up because I do believe that even missions can become selfish. Our human hearts are prone to evil (Genesis 6:5). We must be on guard against the attacks of Satan even within our own churches, even within the work that at it's foundation is meant to glorify the Lord. <i>To follow God's path is a matter of a heart aligned with His, not your own checklist which attempts to achieve strong faith. </i><br />
<br />
God has placed me on this unique path towards ministry, towards vocational missions; and I am continually humbled that He could use me to serve others and to share His love. It's really as simple as that. What I have learned through my ministry experience is that people are people, and sin is sin all over the world. Yes, it looks different; yes, cultures vary; yes, certain kinds of sin may be more rampant in certain places - but nonetheless, God is God and His people need Him - here, there, everywhere.<br />
<br />
I have been preparing and praying that God may send me according to His timing. That if He called me to go I would go, if He called me to stay I would stay. After a lot of prayer, consideration, and mentorship I have decided to commit to an organization called BVS, the service branch of the Brethren denomination which accepts all denominations. In exactly one week, I will attend a three-week long orientation outside of Orlando, Florida where I will form a community with others being sent out and will ultimately be assigned my ministry project. BVS has placements both domestically and internationally, and they will work with me and pray with me as we seek God's guidance to what location and ministry I am to serve in.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10</i></span></span></blockquote>
<b>I would love love love if you all could pray for me within this process. It is an exciting time, but my biggest desire is that I may simply be a vessel for the continuing work of God.</b><br />
<br />
<b>Will you pray for me? That the Lord may provide me wisdom as I consider the various ministry projects and locations. That I will take time to be still, to listen, and to discern where He is leading. That I may form strong relationships with the others who are being prepared to go so that we may build a support and encouragement system for one another. That all those who are currently out serving both domestically and internationally would be renewed day by day. That the ministries would not become something focused on works or perfection, but would continue to be centered on the presence of God and would bear fruit by His hand. That through these ministries people may ultimately experience God and desire to know Him more, that His Kingdom would be expanded and that His sovereignty recognized. </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>I am so excited for this next step and fully believe in the power of prayer and the body of Christ. I would love if you would support me as I begin this journey that God has ordained. May He receive the glory, always. </b>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-83590404623544260502014-01-12T05:52:00.000+01:002016-07-14T11:34:25.683+02:00Leave A Legacy <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Okay fun side note: My old Instant Messenger name from when I was little was "Leavealegacy7"...I just think that's funny and since it's relevant to this blog, I had to go there...</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">SO wow, I have so many
thoughts and am so overwhelmed with emotions that I figured I’d stay up after everyone has gone to bed to write this blog
post…and okay maybe I want to brag on my family a little bit too. We’re
visiting family in <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Mexico</st1:country-region></st1:place>
and I just always feel so <b>encouraged</b>
and <b>inspired</b> when I spend time with
my tias and their families.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">...I really love my tias.
Maybe it’s because every time I see them they call me “flacita” (skinny) or
because they are short and precious or because they like to take my arm and
affectionately put their head on my shoulder or smuggle me with kisses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">But I think my love for
them goes beyond the little things. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The Orta ladies are the most tangible example of Proverbs 31
women that I have ever met. When you are with them you truly experience the power
of the Holy Spirit and you see the beauty of Christ in their words, their
actions, their hearts. It is the most beautiful, unexplainable experience and I
am so humbled to get to inherit their legacy. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><i><span style="font-size: large;">"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue" Proverbs 31:26</span></i></span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">One of the things that
most inspires me about my tias is their rich prayer lives. To say my tias are
prayer warriors is the ultimate understatement of the century. These women know
how to PRAY man. So SO many memories of experiencing this:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I will never forget
New Years two years ago, sitting around the dinner table as the clock stroke
midnight, and having my ears flooded with the words of a beautiful prayer in
Spanish filled with passion. My Tia Raquel prayed over every single person
around that table, for their families, for every detail of their lives. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">As I laid in bed last
night, I heard my Tia Rebeca crying out to God in fierce prayer. It was one of
the most beautiful experiences! Her heart for our Savior radiates to everyone
around her, and to hear a glimpse of her personal time with God – phew, I was
just blown away.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I remember the last time I
was here in <st1:country-region w:st="on">Mexico</st1:country-region> right
before I left for the mission field in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Costa Rica</st1:place></st1:country-region>. My Tia Rosa laid
her hands on me and prayed over this call that God had placed on my life. She prayed over the people of <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Costa Rica</st1:place></st1:country-region>,
for the teams that would come and serve, for personal strength and perseverance,
for the spiritual warfare that would surely come, and for all the glory to ultimately be given to our God. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Tonight, as I sat at the
table with my Tia Rosa and filled her in on my life the inevitable conversation
of boys and relationships came up. As I shared with her my heart and the boy
who has recently captured it, her eyes began to fill with tears. She reminded me
that she had prayed and prayed ever since I was born over every detail of my
life. She felt her prayers were confirmed when she heard my heart. She reminded
me of God’s perfect sovereignty and provision. She so fully trusts that God
will provide a partner for me whose desires align with mine, when my desires are
aligning with His.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">As I watched tears roll
down her eyes, I felt so overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit; knowing, trusting that
when my tias say they pray over me – I mean, they PRAY over me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I was reading the Sermon
on the Mount in The Message yesterday. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">One section talks about “Empty Promises”
it says:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><i><span style="font-size: large;">“And don’t say anything you don’t mean…You only make things worse when
you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, ‘I’ll pray for you,’ and
never doing it, or saying, ‘God be with you,’ and not meaning it. You don’t
make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your
speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’”
Matthew 5:33-37</span></i></span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Man, how many times have I
had this thought…for those of us in the Christian circle I am sure this may
strike a chord or two. There’s nothing wrong with saying you will pray over
someone, </span><i style="font-family: Calibri;">but just make sure you do it</i><span style="font-family: "calibri";">.
Heck, do it with them – </span><i style="font-family: Calibri;">pray over them</i><span style="font-family: "calibri";">.
Let it be heard. I promise it will be much more powerful. It makes me smile to
think of my friend Carrie who is such a beautiful example of this! I can just
hear her sweet voice “Hey, can we pray really quick?” or “I just feel like we
all need to pray right now over this.” Shout-out to Carrie: you're awesome!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">So anyways, this is kind
of jumbled but as I sit here in the silence, at the end of a sweet day filled with laughter,
praise, and love I am just filled with gratitude to be part of this family. Our
families impact us SO much, whether we want to admit it or not. Our actions can have
an eternal and lasting impact and we leave a legacy for future generations. As the Caldwell
Clan welcomes our first little baby I can’t help but feel like our impact is
just now starting. I want to be like my tias. I want to pray fervently over
every detail of Baby Caleb’s life. I want my life to shine for Christ so that
he may experience Him in a mighty way when we are together. I want him to come to a place where he personally enjoys God's overwhelming presence all the days of his life. </span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I want to
leave a legacy where faith is not just words, it’s not just church or Sunday
School lessons; it’s a lifestyle, it’s action, it’s a daily and personal
relationship with God that people can genuinely, unexplainably experience. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
What legacy do you want to leave?</div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-21029159790813923632014-01-01T19:17:00.003+01:002016-07-14T11:34:46.444+02:00A Year In Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Well, I feel sort of obligated to write a New Years post. I was thinking about how we've attached New Years to new beginnings and fresh starts. It's a time to move on from the past and adopt new habits. I mean, I'm all about it. The goal-oriented, planner side of me just loves reflecting on the past and setting goals for the future.<br />
<br />
I realized though, that as a believer, I have the opportunity to do this daily. Every day is a fresh start. Every day I learn new things about Jesus. Every day I am reminded of my inadequacies as I fall short again and again. Every day I am filled with gratitude that Jesus came to die so that my slate is wiped clean forever. I don't have to be perfect; I don't have to earn salvation; I'm not considered a hopeless case if I fail to reach every goal that I set. I just have to follow Jesus, and when I let go of trying to attain perfect faith then I find that <i>my faith is perfected</i> by the power of the Holy Spirit as I learn and grow every day in Him.<br />
<br />
Mm, it's just a refreshing thought!<br />
<br />
When I look back on the last year I see how God moved, tested, challenged, and blessed me. I had the opportunity to live in Hong Kong and learn about the people and culture of Asia. I fell in love with the Philippines and the children who were the most loving and fascinating people I've ever met. I traveled with my sister for the first time as we backpacked China. I graduated from Baylor. I maintained a long-distance relationship, moved to Indiana, and went through a break-up. I persevered through a 10-hour hospitalization program. I started my first real job and let it go when God asked me to go a different direction.<br />
<br />
To be honest, 2013 was probably one of my most challenging years so far. On the outside, it seems there were many blessings within the last year, and there were, but there was a lot of testing as well. I was <i>deeply humbled</i> with everything that happened this past year. And ya know, I'm really grateful for that. Really grateful that I am starting 2014 in this humility, in this place of surrender. I've experienced how this humility really effects my every day, transforms my desires. I've never so strongly craved time with the Lord, so much so that I ran around last night making sure to pour into all of my relationships and commit to celebrate the holiday with them, but speed back home to ring in the New Year in prayer with family.<br />
<br />
Every year just brings so much change when your seeking after the Lord, it's pretty crazy, it's pretty awesome, it's pretty crazy awesome.<br />
<br />
So with all that being said, of course I still have plans for this year....I'm a planner remember? But these plans aren't necessarily what I need to<i> accomplish </i>or check off my life list, they're more <i>desires</i> to grow in the Lord and trust that He'll lead me wherever He needs me to be; trusting that God's plans are much, much better than anything I could ever think up - and I don't want to let <i>my</i> plans get in the way of hearing <i>His</i> plans.<br />
<br />
So in 2014, I resolve to love more <i>abundantly</i> and <i>courageously</i>, to <i>deepen</i> my prayer life, to <i>give</i> more of my finances and time, to<i> read </i>more and glare at a computer less, to make more time for <i>silence</i>, to be fully <i>recovered</i>, to stop multi-tasking and <i>live fully</i> in each moment...<br />
<br />
Really though, I'm just excited to continue to grow in the Lord, knowing that when I do that He aligns my desires with his, develops me more according to His will, and accomplishes things through me that I could have never accomplished on my own.<br />
<br />
Each year is truly a beautiful year when you're walking alongside the Lord. My prayer is that many, many more will come to know this truth in 2014!<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;">He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8</span></blockquote>
<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-318305283356850982013-12-30T07:07:00.003+01:002016-07-14T11:35:18.685+02:00They Say Life's A Journey <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">I will instruct you, and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8</span></i></blockquote>
My mom and I had a good ol' heart to heart the other night. Ya see, I'm still sort of in this weird in between stage in life. That time where you're officially done with school, officially considered an "adult" and yet officially...you still have <i>no idea</i> what you're doing. It's like people expect you to be an adult with all the crummy things like bills and responsibilities and work, and yet no one takes you seriously with all the cool things like your opinion, decisions, or advice.<br />
<br />
But I guess that's the name of the game. So, you know, I think I'm okay with it. Varsity wouldn't be as awesome if you didn't have to work you're way to the top, right? There is just as much joy in the journey as the destination...and who wants to be an adult anyway? Once you're fully taken seriously, then that means you're full of wisdom, and to be full of wisdom you have to be old. Soooo I think I'm okay staying young for a bit.<br />
<br />
Alriiight that was a rabbit trail, and I think I just invalidated everyone who says I am "wise beyond my years." (hopefully you detect me being dramatic and sarcastic above, I don't actually think you have to be old to be wise...who decides what is "old" anyways?)<br />
<br />
ANYWAY the truth is, my mom and I had this heart to heart because I wanted to seek her approval. It almost felt like I was asking for her permission to get married, but instead was asking if I would receive her blessing to pursue a possible international ministry project.<br />
<br />
Now, okay here's the thing. It's not like this comes as a complete surprise or anything. Obviously, international missions is something that has been on my heart for awhile now. Something I've already participated in. Something I've been to school for. BUT under certain circumstances there has been some apprehension as to when I should pursue a commitment to this particular type of work.<br />
<br />
Well you know what she said?<br />
<br />
Without hesitation, she said that she would support me <i>wherever</i> I felt God was leading and that she trusted me because she trusted the One who she <i>knew</i> I was following. <b>What faith!</b> I don't even know if I have that much confidence within myself and so to hear that just blew me away.<br />
<br />
<i>But there's a greater message to all of this. </i><br />
<br />
As she gave me her blessing she explained just why she was so quick to encourage me on my journey. She reminded me that God guides everyone down unique paths, and we are commanded to love and support people down those different paths. I realized in that moment, while experiencing first-hand my mom's compassion, that this is definitely an area where I have fallen short.<br />
<br />
You see, I tend to think pretty black and white.<span style="color: #cccccc;">.</span>I'm a "Paul," I like to lay it out for people. Here is Step 1, Step 2, Step 3...but it's not always as easy as 3 steps is it? (Though, boy, I wish it were) No because while we mean well...we can't always advise people from our bias perspective. We don't always have the answers. We can try to put on other people's lenses, we can try to walk a mile in their shoes, but we can't ever<i> fully</i> understand and we'll never<i> fully</i> be able to understand where they are in their walk with God either.<br />
<br />
I don't want to be known as someone who is condemning. Challenging? Yes. But not condemning. I don't want to be seen as someone who lacks compassion. Or who fails to love, support, and accept people right where they're at. Of course I still believe in mentors and discipleship and accountability and all that jazz; all of that is just fine and dandy. I still believe in confronting believers <i>when the Spirit leads </i>you that way. I still believe in the commandments of the Bible, that "love means that we live by doing what he commands" (2 John 6).<br />
<br />
But I guess I just feel that first and foremost we are to love others. To extend compassion to those who are on their own unique journey. Not condemn those who have a different passion then ours. Not judge those who may desire marriage and kids over a career. Not label those who stay in their hometowns as "complacent" or "safe."<br />
<br />
<b>I'm guilty of all these things. </b><br />
<br />
Yet it took someone extending compassion to me, in the midst of many who were pressuring and judging me in my convictions. Not trusting me when I told them that I am going to God <i>daily</i> asking for direction and discernment - wanting HIS will to be done, and not my own. They were trying to tell me that I need to do Step 1, Step 2, Step 3. I think we need to be careful with that fine line between seeking accountability and wisdom, and trying to please man over God. I'm learning it's a very difficult thing to have to turn away from people at times, especially those who you hold close and dearly love, but ultimately I answer to God <i>first</i> and I <i>always</i> will.<br />
<br />
We all may think there is a right way and a wrong way, and you know sometimes there is... But sometimes, people just need love and encouragement, need to be directed to seek Jesus who is the true Shepherd, need compassion right where they're at, and need support within their unique journey towards righteousness.<br />
<br />
I'm excited for my journey and I'm excited about others' journeys. I'm glad that all of our lives are different. We so often fight that but it's truly what makes life so beautiful! Our different quarks and talents, jobs and lifestyles, timelines and journeys all act as the BEST examples of how beautiful our God is, how many different ways He works, how diverse are the people He equips, and how unique are His avenues to do so.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. 1 Corinthians 12:4:4-6</span></i></blockquote>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-28980486132455098442013-12-26T05:48:00.000+01:002016-07-14T11:32:47.598+02:00The Humble Story of ChristmasSo I'm sitting here at the end of a very merry Christmas and reflecting on the holiday which is so full of family and friends, love and joy, gifts and thanksgiving. I think it's difficult for anyone to remember the "reason for the season" in the midst of all the shopping, lights, and carols. Not to say all of the hoopla isn't enjoyable - because it definitely is! Yet even for those who genuinely desire to place Jesus at the center of the season, who want to genuinely worship at the Christmas Eve service - well it's still just difficult. I can't really describe why. I mean maybe it's just me. Maybe it's the familiarity of it all, the distractions, or even just all the excitement of reunions and family that can bring me away from remembering that ALL of this - the lights, the gifts, the food - is all to commemorate how God brought His son to transform the world.<br />
<br />
I was reflecting on that this morning. No one in my family bothers to wake up early now that we're older and there are no children in the family [for now - baby Caleb will be here any day now!! :)]. I'm the oddball in that I prefer early mornings and despise procrastination in a family who lives for late nights, later mornings, and last-minute shopping. So in the quiet of the morning I was spending precious time with the Lord, reflecting on the holiday and the story of Jesus.<br />
<br />
And this is what I realized.<br />
<br />
Maybe it's hard to truly remember the birth of Jesus during Christmas because the way we celebrate is the complete opposite to how God chose for it all to go down.<br />
<br />
I know we've all heard it. We've all heard the story. We've sang the carols. We've watched the church plays and gazed at nativity scenes. But really, if you stop and think about it...the story of Jesus is really stinkin cool. It is just SUCH a story of <i>humility</i>. A story of how God chose the <b>unexpected</b>, <b>young</b>, and <b>willing</b> Mary to carry His Son who would change the world forever. He chose the <b>faithful</b> Joseph to be the earthly father of His Son, the Messiah. He allowed those who were <b>obedient</b> and <b>ready</b> to experience that day when Jesus was born into the world. He chose the <i>humble </i>setting of a manger - so simple that only a few knew of the birth that would change the world...forever.<br />
<br />
Now, millions celebrate baby Jesus, or at least the holiday that commemorates that day. Yet we make the occasion so extravagant, we bury Jesus under the twinkling lights and over-the-top parties. But when you look at the story of Jesus, the "Christmas Story" you see something very different. Generations had prophesied about this Messiah who would come and change the course of history, many expected things to be over-the-top, maybe they expected the kind of celebration we now traditionally have to remember this birth. But God did not lay out the story to be this way. <i>He chose simple, He chose difficult.</i><br />
<br />
Then there's Mary and Joseph.<br />
<br />
They had to suffer on a long journey. They had to face rejection and loneliness as they traveled far from their families. Their circumstance led them to look to God for comfort and reassurance, it allowed for God to equip them as they brought Jesus into the world in a strange place with nothing. I mean for pete's sake, Mary made a manger out of straw!<br />
<br />
But then...their faithfulness in that difficult place was rewarded when those who God chose to experience baby Jesus came with gifts and worshiped.<br />
<br />
Man, isn't that what it's about?<br />
<br />
To be willing to follow God no matter what that means like Mary and Joseph, and to trust that He will be with you. Taking the long journey, facing the hardship and times of loneliness, allowing God to equip and provide for you, and experiencing how your obedience can draw others in to come and worship Jesus.<br />
<br />
<b>That is the reward. </b><br />
<br />
Not monetary gain or a bigger mansion in Heaven. The reward is experiencing when God is brought greater glory and experiencing how God chose and used YOU to accomplish that. Despite your inadequacies, He chose you. Mary and Joseph didn't receive the praise that night, but they received the reward of sharing in the righteousness of God. Their reward came when they were chosen to play a part of the story of Jesus - His birth, and later His death and resurrection. They were part of the transformation of the world.<br />
<br />
It's personal transformation and being chosen to play a role in the transformation of others for the glory of God - which is the greatest gift of all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-7027148916493959912013-12-14T22:53:00.003+01:002016-07-14T11:36:30.667+02:00Falling Towards Jesus So someone asked me the other day if I had ever fallen flat on my face. I sort of laughed to myself, because well...for one I had just journaled about how MUCH I seem to fall flat on my face and two it seems to happen so often that I almost found the question silly. We don't seem to think it's very silly when it happens though do we? We're usually our harshest critics and sometimes we fail to extend the same compassion to ourselves as we do to others.<br />
<br />
Every morning, I usually journal or write out my prayers. There is just something about it that helps me channel into being fully present with God. If I am focused on writing, my mind cannot wander in a million different directions like it normally tends to do.<br />
<br />
So maybe some of y'all know that I'm in this process of recovery for this thing that I don't openly talk about, haha. That sounds so silly! But I do like to maintain SOME privacy. Anyway, there is so much I'm learning just in this PROCESS though that I feel so aligns with life and struggles that we encounter in our faith.<br />
<br />
I thought I'd share a piece of my journal with you all. Within it you might see that 1. I allow perfectionism and religiosity to trap me into guilt and shame even within my walk with God 2. That I have become pretty good at falling on my face 3. That even through it all, this process of peaks and valleys still draws me more intimate with the One who matters and for that I remain truly grateful.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
December 11, 2013</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
7:15am </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
I didn't spend time with Jesus yesterday. I know that God still loves me and I've gotten wrapped up in religiosity if I consider myself a failure for missing ONE quiet time. It's just, I even had the time to do it.. but instead chose to fall flat on my face - without wanting to consult God, just wanting to regain my control. Sigh. How I so hoped for miraculous healing, how I still hope for that at times - but I think I know why God is taking me down a process of ups and downs within my recovery journey. It's such a direct reflection of life. I mean, we know that life is a series of mountains and valleys, right? We are told to EXPECT struggles and hardships. And yet we so easily forget that God is sovereign, that a valley will one day lead to a mountain. That a summit is promised for the future where He awaits and we will be united with Him. Forever victorious, we'll stand with Jesus and look down at the series of mountains and valleys that brought us closer to the very likeness of God and all of which came together for His glory. ALL of the journey was used for our good and His Kingdom, all were part of the journey that led to the summit, to eternity with a God who was with us through it all, and who we now get to enjoy in fullness. We are told to rejoice in the process, in the hardships, in the blessings and the pain. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
...Do we really though? I mean yeah it's wa-hay easier said than done. Our reaction is more often frustration and doubts, complaints and hurt. My goodness, I am grateful that God always takes me back. That just like the prodigal son's father ran to him with open arms, delighted in his return, God hurts when I stray from Him and rejoices when I return. Wow, I need daily grace. So desperately. I am pretty perfect at being imperfect (though I try to not allow others to see that). Instead, don't I really make an effort to try and make my life seem perfect? We all sort of do. We all post the best pictures, of the best times, at our happiest moments. Obviously, it is polite to be socially acceptable but with all this media stuff sometimes I think we take it too far. We allow others to fall into envy or feelings of discontent off of our fake perfection. But anyway...I've gotten pretty good at falling flat on my face. Yet I realized...how much easier is it to fall on your knees before Jesus when you're on the ground already? It's often in that place that I experience the greatest intimacy with Jesus versus that higher place of perfection and pride. So if getting to that intimate place means falling on my face often, well...then so be it. I'll just get up again and fall more and more towards Jesus. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"Dear friends, don't be surprised by the fiery troubles that are coming in order to test you. Don't feel as though something strange is happening to you, but be happy as you share Christ's sufferings. Then you will also be full of joy when he appears again in his glory" 1 Peter 3:12-13</span><br />
<br />
<i>Precious God, I thank you. I just thank You for this process. For breaking me down and building me up. For engulfing me with Your intimate love within every valley and every mountain. I often cannot see what lies ahead, but I trust You. I trust that You will work all of this out for good as You have promised for the one who truly loves You. And I do Lord, I truly do. So I just thank you again, for Your daily grace that I so desperately need. I thank You for the tests which draw me closer to Your very heart, deeper in my compassion for Your people, hungry for more and more and more of You. I surrender it to You God, all of it. The process, the worries I carry, the hurt and the anger and the frustration. I am not meant to walk through this alone, so forgive me for times that I try to. For times that I allow my stubbornness and want of control to abandon the pure truth that I need You. So so desperately. My God, who am I that You would run to me with open arms? That you would hug and kiss me after all the times I have failed You? I don't know if I'll ever understand why you do it, but I know that You do. I remain in awe that You do. You sent Your son to suffer for man and as I follow His lead I will joyfully expect the same suffering. Place in me a heart of gladness and genuine joy in that suffering. That I may experience the sweet goodness of Jesus, of the cross, of the victory that awaits for me in eternity. I place my trust in Your sovereign and mighty plan. I love You and I praise You. Amen. </i></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-15806247350859214822013-12-08T23:32:00.000+01:002013-12-08T23:39:15.294+01:00Abundance & PovertyWoohoo it's Christmas time! Where life is merry and jolly and bright. I'm going to be honest I love the Christmas decorations and songs just as must as the next person. The Lord has brought me to a precious time in my life lately. It's been 6 months since I've been back in America and my time has been a mixed emotion of joy and deep conviction. My mom will probably roll her eyes if she reads this because I've talked to her about it so much, and it just so happens that the Sunday message covered this very conviction. The conviction of just how difficult it is to live in a culture of abundance. <br />
<br />
<i>"I believe that God is in control, yes, but I also believe I have a choice: I can follow Him or I can turn my back on Him. I can say yes to Him, or I can say no. I can go to the hard places or I can remain comfortable. And if I remain comfortable, God who loves us unconditionally will continue to love me anyway. I may still see His glory revealed in my life and recognize His blessings, but not like I could have." - Katie Davis </i><br />
<br />
Disobedience plagues our culture, <i>stuff</i> clouds our
ability to hear the voice of God. Sure the Lord will still be with us,
He will walk with us down the path that we chose, but our disobedience
can still cause us to miss out on the incredible life we could have had
if we had chosen <i>God's</i> best for us and not<i> our</i> best for us. <br />
<br />
I have been called to be a vocational missionary. I know it. I think I've known it for awhile now, but for a time I tried to negotiate with God. I tried to combine my desires with God's desires, a sort of half-obedience if you will..."Well, maybe I could still live in America and just work for a missions organization." "Well, I mean I still want to utilize my education right? I should build up my savings first." "Well, I'll go once I'm married and once I have life figured out (ha! as if that's even possible)." If you've ever hung out with me you have most likely heard me say something like this at some point. I wanted to justify my selfish desires. I wanted to gain the approval of friends and family who want to see me find "success" (whatever that means). I wanted to follow this American dream and timeline that I often feel pressured to follow. I wanted to trust God with the big picture but take the small details into my own hands.<br />
<br />
So I had to stop and I had to remember that God is above it all - He's above this timeline I've placed on my life, He's above this American dream, He's even above my friends and family (though you know I love y'all). I first felt called to ministry and missions three years ago when I was humbled to a point of complete surrender. God had brought me to my breaking point. I had fallen away and I was just done. In that place, my humility and brokenness finally opened my mind and body for God's Spirit to enter in and use me.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>"Humble yourselves in the Lord's presence. Then He will give you a high position" James 4:10 </i></span><br />
<br />
I don't think it's any coincidence that God repeatedly chose the most humble and unexpected people to do His work. Moses - a murderer turned lowly shepherd, Jonah - an ordinary fisherman, Mary - a peasant girl, Rahab - a prostitute. God didn't just choose these people to shock everyone (though it did), He chose them because it is in a place of humility that we can come to surrender to God's power and His will and His words and actions which can move mountains through us. I would be weary of a pastor who claims to have it all together - because it's not the prideful that the Lord can equip. Pride acts as one of the greatest barriers to the Holy Spirit. Are you comfortable? Secure? Confident in what you've got to offer? Clap, clap, clap...<br />
<br />
Okay that might sound harsh but it's only because I do <i>desperately</i> want others to see that the very things the world applauds are the very things that stand in the way of us experiencing God to the fullest and experiencing HIS best for us! This is a hard world to live in. I know. Scripture warns us of that. We are to expect that. But I believe the things that are tough in the world are not all the things we acknowledge to be tough - like poverty, war, corruption, terrorism... no, even non-believers can see that these things are bad.<br />
<br />
No, I believe what is worse are the the things that are not as clearly identified or openly talked about. The very things that keep us spiritually impoverished and separate us from experiencing the fullness of a saving God. Things like envy - staring at a computer and wanting what others have; greed - not just want of fortune but even want of security - 401k, retirement plans, all our money tucked away in savings to keep us secure and safe while millions suffer from malnutrition and limited access to healthcare. We want to save all of our money so we can enjoy long vacations and be worry free. We want to keep OUR right of OUR money, OUR control of OUR money. But it's not our money is it? <i>It's God's money</i>. You know this right? Are you acting as if it's not your own? Or is it mostly going towards things for you? I'm sorry if I seem to be guilt-tripping, but you know what...I am. Because well America needs to be guilt-tripped. You can hold onto your material wealth and experience spiritual poverty OR give your resources for Kingdom work and experience the very heart of God. You choose. But I'm not going to choose to pretend that it's okay. That the abundance of our nation and the spiritual death we're experiencing is okay. Because, well, it's just not.<br />
<br />
OKAY, so to extend some grace here I can imagine that if you have been in a place where all you know is comfort of material wealth then I can see how difficult it would be to make a decision to devote more of your finances to Kingdom work and less to personal stuff. I get it. It would be scary. But Scripture says repeatedly<i> <span style="font-size: large;">"Do not fear."</span> </i>You think God says that to encourage those who are comfortable? That just makes no sense. No, He says it because He knows that His children who truly follow Him will indeed face situations that evoke fear. It's in those places that He meets us. I 100% promise that intimacy with God - I mean a real, all-consuming relationship with Jesus, almost always requires us to sacrifice and to be in a place of discomfort; but IT IS WORTH IT. The half-intimacy with God that we settle for - the lifestyle that we try to compromise, to have both God and the world, both comfort and the blessings of God; will eventually break down our soul, and it's really just not worth it to hold onto things that are <i>guaranteed</i> to fade away. You will miss out on the best God has for you. Oh he'll still met you there, will still love and forgive you by His kindness...but you will miss out.<br />
<br />
All that being said, I know that God has again brought me to a place of brokenness and humility to bring me back to the best He has for me. Three years ago I was there, I said "God take it all, use me because I am no good without you." Then slowly I began to justify, I made excuses because of my fears, built up pride that came even in ministry (oh yeah, that happens). Then it all came crashing down and I was reminded of truth. I was brought back to a place of surrender: "God take it all, use me because I am no good without you." Not to say that mission work is the highest calling. I believe God's best for you can be a variety of jobs and fields. Do I believe you must be <i>called</i> to be a vocational missionary? Yes. Do I believe many more are called than are actually going? Yes.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-ESV-30335">"...Yet you don't know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.</span> <span class="text Jas-4-15" id="en-ESV-30336">Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:14-15</span> </i></span><br />
<br />
Life is tough. Stuff distracts us. We face envy and pride and want of security - dangers which keep us from spiritual intimacy with the one true God. If God hasn't brought you to a place of complete brokenness to see the things that keep you from His best for you, I pray that He will. I'm going to pray that He allows for circumstances in your life that will bring you to your knees and will help you realize <i>you are nothing </i>without God. That you will be brought to a place where all you want is the best that <i>He</i> has for you - no matter what that means and whatever changes that means for your life. That is the kind of life that will bring God glory, not you, not me, but Him. And that's where the glory belongs. <br />
<span class="text Jas-4-15" id="en-ESV-30336"><br /></span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-29721888762806510572013-11-24T01:38:00.000+01:002013-11-25T02:47:41.203+01:00Life on Mission <i>That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the Living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe. 1 Timothy 4:10</i><br />
<br />
<span class="text Prov-14-23" id="en-NIV-16796"><i>All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty. Proverbs 14:23</i></span><br />
<br />
Man oh man. Life has been cuh-razy on a whole other level. I leave the house at 6:30 each morning and usually get home anywhere from 8-10 each evening. Woohoo life!<br />
<br />
I'm loving my job (I get to advocate for orphaned children every day, say whaat?!), and I am loving Austin and the new friends I have made and the old ones with whom I have re-connected.... I'm not gonna lie though, it has been nothing short of a challenge to figure out this life tango. I 100% believe that we are all missionaries. I believe that God has a beautiful, unique way to use each of us right here, right now, right where we are. I believe that He can use me in incredible ways as a working 22 year-old, in Austin, Texas. <br />
<br />
What I am realizing though is that life on mission is definitely a task! You might be a natural at it and can take it easy and have relationships just fall into your lap. If so, this does not apply to you...but for me, even as a moderate extrovert I am finding that it takes some serious WORK to live on mission. It takes effort to set up time for coffee, dinner dates, service, community, and of course the absolute necessary time set-aside for self-care and intimacy with Jesus. Throw in full-time work and 5 o'clock rush-hour traffic and there are just not enough hours in the day people! I now truly understand why people are deprived of sleep!<br />
<br />
Okay so I'm not saying everyone's lives should be crazy if you're living for Jesus. I definitely believe you must care for yourself in order to care for others and the amount of that self-care varies for each person. However, I do believe there is a slight problem with disobedience in our culture. I've seen it and I've been a part of it. The reaction to busyness is that you paralyze yourself and don't do anything at all or you allow the crazies of life to get you super-duper overwhelmed and stressed. I, of course, lean towards the latter. With all the craziness, I still managed to find time to worry about the timeline of my life. I found myself asking God - how long will I be here do you think? Do you want me to go to seminary or stay here? When should I commission for the field? And of course - when are ya gonna bring that guy so I can stop worrying about all that stuff? So here I am with all my questions wanting to know tomorrow TODAY.<br />
<br />
Okay quick detour in regards to the last point...I met with the sweetest student missionary who just finished her two-year term with the International Mission Board and this topic got brought up. She was like "Girl, I want to tell you a story. My sweet friend felt God calling her to a 2-year missions project on the field right out of college. However, she was so worried that if she left she wouldn't ever find her husband so she decided not to go. Well...she didn't end up getting married until she was 39. My other friend obediently served 2 years in the Middle East. While there, she found her husband, an amazing and attractive Christian man on the field. In the Middle East! She was completely covered, all you could see were her eyes!!" Haha, I loved these stories. What a reminder. Ladies - God has got this. We need to focus on being obedient now, within our singleness. <br />
<br />
So I'm driving home one day (Praise God for KLOVE and Spirit 105.9 with all the time I spend in my car)<br />
and Casting Crowns' new song comes on:<br />
<b>From where You're standing Lord, You see a grand design. </b><br />
<b>That You imagined when You breathed me into life,</b><br />
<b>And all the chaos comes together in Your hands like a masterpiece of Your picture perfect plan.</b><br />
<b>When I'm lost in the mystery to you my future is a memory, </b><br />
<b>Cause You're already there, You're already there,<br />
Standing at the end of my life, waiting on the other side and </b><br />
<b>You're already there, You're already there!</b><br />
<br />
My goodness what a reminder! This life is not my own and this place is not my home - and the reason I live this life on mission is ultimately to love others in Jesus' Name and to bring Him glory. Scripture commands us to work in excellence and to work hard - because being a Christian is not easy! Not just with the spiritual warfare that goes on as Satan attacks strong believers, but because it does take WORK to truly love others and live a life on mission for the Gospel of God. If you do not feel like you are working hard - then it is probably something you need to evaluate. The Holy Spirit desires to use you and He will instill a desire in you to go in whatever direction God wants you to go, but it will take work and it might not be "convenient" or "easy" or "comfortable" but it is what we are to do in obedience. <br />
<br />
<i>Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:16</i><br />
<br />
A lot of times on my break I just want to surf the internet and tune life out - but my goodness how much more fruitful are the times that I am intentional with other co-workers during that time. When I talk about myself you bet Jesus is coming up. If your co-workers don't know you are a Christian, you might want to consider why that is. Jesus is my identity, my Father, my best friend, my most amazing lover - you bet He comes up. If a relationship, a hobby, or a recent drama comes up - why wouldn't Jesus? You're not making people uncomfortable, you're telling your own story - and if you're a believer, your story should include Jesus. <br />
<br />
Okay as a disclaimer, I don't want this to come off sounding like you need to do A, B, and C to be a good Christian. If it's coming across like I mean it that way then I apologize. What I DO mean is that when you are spending time with the Lord and in a intimate relationship with the Lord throughout the day - A, B, and C will happen. <b>Jesus equips if we allow Him to.</b> When we surrender to the Holy Spirit the outcome is not just us doing our own thing and living a life of ease and total comfort. When we surrender to the Spirit there will be a life FULL of work and relationships and worship and hardship and frustration and absolute joy! It might seem sort of messy at times, but ultimately when it is all out of obedience to the Spirit of God and to the mission of spreading the Gospel - the Lord will most definitely be pleased. <br />
<br />
<i>Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than
for men; knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the
inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. </i><br />
<i>Colossians 2:23-24</i>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-79150481680031478772013-11-08T02:48:00.000+01:002013-11-08T03:02:35.220+01:00Choosing an Attitude of Gratitude Okay, there's been a lot going on. I'm going to just throw out an apology to anyone who has been confused about this "treatment" I speak of or who was left in the dark completely. I'll go ahead and apologize again because I'm not going to explain everything in this blog either. I've actually prayed about all of this. How much do we allow others in? How many do we allow in? <br />
<br />
Anyway, so I've decided that though I believe vulnerability and authenticity is super important - I still believe there is a balance to be struck. After all, aren't our most cherished relationships the ones that we have with a handful of people who we deeply know and who we allow to deeply know us? If I shared everything to everyone I would be taking away the beauty of those unique relationships and I don't think I prefer that.<br />
<br />
I still believe in authenticity though - so for those who don't know I have been in a treatment program for the past month. This process has been...hard. I wish there were better descriptive words! Sometimes words just can't describe certain situations. Even if there were, many would probably only reach a certain level of understanding; and even for others who have experienced something similar, there are still unique cases and reactions and stresses. If there's one thing I can describe though it's how God has been the head of my treatment team for this entire process. I chose from the beginning to do whatever it took to get better. There were days that I didn't feel that way. There were days that I wanted to quit. There were days that I felt completely numb. But at the beginning and end of each day - I chose gratitude. Gratitude that I was able to take this time to seek treatment. Gratitude that I had a team of people working to help me get better. Gratitude that I was placed in an environment of genuine love and support. Gratitude for friends and family who really stepped up to encourage me during this time.<br />
<br />
You would think that a believer would feel most grateful in seasons of blessings, but I often tend to be most grateful in seasons of hardship. The trials of this life remind me of the sovereignty of God, and cause me to fully and completely rely on Him for every ounce of power and strength. <br />
<br />
For a long time I battled with where my faith fit into all of this. I had heard everything from "pray harder" to "you must not have a genuine heart of repentance" to "it's just a season and it will pass." All I could think was GOD, if you are the Ultimate Healer - why will you not bring healing? I couldn't see how me being sick could help at all. I realized over the past four weeks why God chose not to bring miraculous healing. He could have, sure, but as a loving Father He chose not to. He chose not to because in His loving kindness, the Lord has given us free will to make decisions. He doesn't control our every move and He doesn't make every decision for us. So yes, there are times where there are major consequences to certain decisions we make. Yet He is still a loving Father - and He journeys with us as we battle through those consequences. I was really sick, but by God's grace I was given the strength and power to make it through each day of treatment. I learned to love the process, as the process brought me even more deeply in love with the Lord. I learned so much about myself, about acceptance, about self-compassion, about grace and love and joy. I feel like I can live life for the first time in four years - and life is so much sweeter when you've gone so long not tasting it's fullness.<br />
<br />
Sooo then of course here I am falling into my broken pattern of trying to plan my next steps. When I'm done here - what am I going to do? Where does God want me? Do I look for a job? Consider seminary? How can I take this all into my hands again?<br />
<br />
Then I fell down.<br />
<br />
Then I got back up.<br />
<br />
Then I got on my knees.<br />
<br />
And surrendered.<br />
<br />
I had promised everyone that I would focus on recovery for at least four weeks. I went back on that and allowed my worries and anxiety get the best of me. See the thing is - when we mess up (which is often) it's OKAY. We are not perfect y'all. We're believers and we follow a perfect God, but <i>we</i> are not perfect. We all (hopefully) know this, but I'm realizing it's something I constantly have to remind myself. As a perfectionist I can often bring perfectionism, rigidity, and lack of forgiveness into my faith - and well, that's just counter-Gospel. I don't know if you've noticed but extreme perfectionism can lead to destruction. Striving for perfection within yourself, within your relationships, within your faith - it just never ends well.<br />
<br />
Anyway, so I decided okay - I will pray about my next steps and look around a little bit but I will NOT allow this to take priority and I will NOT allow myself to worry about this. A few days later I talked to my treatment team and they told me that I would be discharged the following Friday (this was Wednesday I believe). I remember so many days thinking "how can I rush this process?" "When will this be over?" "I can't take this. I'm better! See...see??" Then I get the news of my discharge and I'm immediately rushed with all this nervousness and fear "What if I'm not better?" "No, I'm not ready! I'm not strong enough!" "Are you sure? Are you really really sure?"<br />
<br />
I got home later that day, a little on edge but encouraged after talking to someone who assured me that a healthy amount of fear can take you a long way. So that night, I got an e-mail from a job that I had applied to. Fast forward through a bad night, a day of tears, a car accident, and Halloween....and it's the morning of the interview! I drove to Great Wall China Adoption, an international adoption agency headquartered in Austin and felt totally calm about everything. After all, an interview works both ways and I didn't know for sure if I wanted to work at this company. First of all, the company is in the beautiful hills of South Austin. I'm embarrassed to admit that I had never been to the 360 area much growing up...seriously, it's crazy beautiful. The mansions along the hillside, Town Lake to your right with the hills on your left, and the downtown skyline in the distance...yeah, it's pretty sweet.<br />
<br />
Okay this is getting too detailed. BASICALLY, the company and job are absolutely perfect. It's a gorgeous area, beautiful office with marble floors and a wall-size mural of the Great Wall. An international non-profit with 15 offices worldwide, the top adoption agency in the country, and a brilliant and fun team of people. I immediately clicked with the Marketing team and Mrs. Snow Wu, the CEO and a powerhouse Chinese woman. Everything just felt so right. Intuition is just such a wonderful thing. It's like faith - you can't see it but you can feel it, and it's so much stronger than logic or reason. On Sunday, I had the most perfect day in Austin. North Austin and South-Central Austin are like two entirely different worlds. I was always anti-Austin because of growing up in Round Rock (North) but my goodness, treatment has been in the hills of Austin and I can SO understand now why everyone says it's the best place in the world to live...because well, it is. There is just so much to do, everyone is chill and awesome, and the Greenbelt, Barton Springs, Town Lake, Zilker, it's just an outdoor enthusiast's paradise. <br />
<br />
So the night before my last day of treatment I got a phone call from Mrs. Snow Wu offering me the Marketing & Promotions Specialist position with Great Wall China Adoption. I got the phone call on my drive back home and literally cried the entire ride. It's just unbelievable. This time last year I felt God calling me to Hong Kong and I thought it was super random and faced a good amount of opposition for it. Even my time in Indiana at Fellowship Missions aligned so much with this job description. Then the series of events that allowed me for the first time to prioritize recovery, realizing that no matter what job or relationship I had I could never live a real life in the state that I was in. Now, I am healthy and so excited to settle in South Austin and pour into people in the workplace and the outside community - and it's only because I'm in recovery that I am confident I can now truly do that.<br />
<br />
I appreciate anyone who read all of this! I pray that you all will choose to have an attitude of gratitude. Even when your situations don't seem to call for that. Or you don't necessarily feel thankful for what is going on. You can choose your attitude, which is far above your circumstances and your feelings, and deep rooted in your soul. When you choose gratitude - I promise that God will provide you with strength to get through every situation and hardship, wisdom and guidance to do His will, and the blessing of a life that is just so full and joyous and wonderful!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-37988067056238897862013-09-30T16:02:00.002+02:002013-09-30T16:15:46.113+02:00Once Upon A Lunch Date Yesterday was a beautiful day. <br />
<br />
You know, time can seem so short or long depending on our attitude. I have been convicted of this many a time in my own life. It's just interesting. How we can set off on a one-week mission trip and think "YES, I am going to build relationships, and love on kids, and work really hard, and change the WORLD." Then we go back home and back to our normal schedules and think "Well, I'm only here for one more week...there's obviously no point in building relationships or being intentional." <br />
<br />
I've had this conversation with people. I've seen different attitudes. I've seen those who live on mission in their daily lives. I've seen others who I question if they've ever lived at all.. I think about my own story, I think about the one girl who God used to reach me - how He used her that day and how my life was radically transformed because of it. I think about how I mention her every time I tell my story; how her obedience created this incredible butterfly effect.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I think about how she had no idea.</span> <br />
<br />
See the thing is, it only took one lunch date for the Lord to use Alexa. My re-conversion story in a nutshell was that I was a lost freshman. I had gone through high school lost in partying and a destructive relationship; and by the end of it all I was ready for a fresh start. I was searching for the purpose of life, though I was pretty sure there was none. <br />
<br />
My first week at college I was invited to a lifegroup. At that group, I listened to the leader of the group share her testimony. She talked about her past of depression and brokenness and the redemption she had found in Christ. Later that week, Alexa asked me if I wanted to go to lunch with her. I don't even remember what our conversation was about, but I do remember the light of Christ that so clearly shined on the face of the girl sitting across from me. It was in that moment that God opened my heart to the purpose of life - the love and joy that only comes from knowing Jesus Christ. I never went back to Alexa's lifegroup, but a few days after that lunch date - alone, in the quiet of my dorm room, I re-dedicated my life to Christ. <br />
<br />
A couple of years later the Lord called me to ministry and took me places I never would have imagined. I have come to know the intimate, precious love of Jesus. All because one girl decided to be obedient to the cross right where she was. <br />
<br />
So that's when I was reminded - my goodness, our God is creative. He can use us in our homes, workplaces, and activities just as much as in the safaris of Africa. He can use us over the span of two years, in a one-hour lunch date, or in a thirty-second prayer. <br />
<br />
I decided to message Alexa yesterday. The Lord kept placing this on my heart and I knew He wanted me to share. After all, I had talked about her to hundreds of people over the last several years - and she had no idea! The thing is, most of us will probably never see or know how God has used us, but better believe He does when we submit to His will and desire to glorify Him with our lives. That is faith. Trusting that the Lord is using you and not believing the lies that you are worthless or your life meaningless. <br />
<br />
<strong>Love others. Be intentional. Right now. Right where you are.</strong> I know it's not easy - what is easy: waiting for marriage/career/being settled, laziness, self-centeredness, superficial relationships, walls around your heart, selfishness with your time, love of the world. BUT. We are called to be different. We are commanded to INSTEAD, love one another. <span class="text John-13-34" id="en-NIV-26665"><span class="woj">“A new <u>command<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26665A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup></u> I give you: Love one another.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26665B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup> As I have loved you, so you <em>must</em> love one another.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26665C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup></span></span> <span class="text John-13-35" id="en-NIV-26666"><span class="woj">By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:34-35).</span></span><br />
<br />
<em>"This message really re-envisioned me to just love the person in front of me and pursue relationship. I seriously feel encouraged to sow broadly and trust Jesus with the seeds that I sow." - Alexa Wible</em>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6854706308246715454.post-11136149222999928072013-09-26T15:37:00.003+02:002013-09-26T15:52:18.074+02:00Seek and You Will Find So it's been awhile. I was talking to my friend on the phone the other day who I hadn't talked to in about a month and I realized that all of my updates were completely opposite of what our conversation had been the time before. Time is funny. In the moment, days can sometimes fly by or drag on. Yet every time you look back you always think "man, where did the time go?" To say there have been a lot of changes in the past month would be a complete understatement. I used to think I thrive off of change... now it's starting to get a little old. Maybe I'm just getting old... Some of you probably resent me for that last line. Okay I have an old soul? Probably not even that. Okay this isn't even what this blog is about. <br />
<br />
Back on track. I have had so many revelations the past few weeks it's crazy. I wish I could verbalize all of them in some nice bullet point list for everyone so that we could all grow together. Unfortunately, everything is already all jumbled in my mind again. I always think ah-ha! Lord, I UNDERSTAND - and then I'm onto another thought and another ah-ha moment. That's why I need to start writing things down again. I journal but this is just easier. Typing - much less tiresome and it seems it comes out more detailed.<br />
<br />
Okay, if you are still reading this blog I applaud you because I probably would have given up on me along time ago because this is just a mess of sidetracks. <br />
<br />
WELL, I just want to say that I really enjoy friendship. Just thinking about friendship - old friends and brand new ones - truly warms my heart. It's so clear to me that the Lord designed us to be in community. It's an inherent comfort for all of us to be genuinely loved and cared for by another human being. I love the friendships that just immediately click. The unique people that just bring out the best in you and who you feel you are better around. Last night, as I sat around the table with new friends Carrie and Dave on our new weekly dinner tradition I realized that they are true gifts! People who I am able to comfortably talk about discipleship and evangelism - who can question together what that looks like - and genuinely listen and respect each others' viewpoints. It was just beautiful y'all! Such a wonderful moment of experiencing the body of Christ in that little kitchen in Warsaw, IN. <br />
<br />
So I realized that I have been chewing on something for the past several weeks and I finally feel compelled to share because...well, I just do. In the midst of major life decisions - career, relationship, recovery, location...okay wow basically any major decision you have to make I had to make the past few weeks so no wonder this was on my mind. So I was thinking about my ministry class and our discussion on the three different approaches to discerning God's will. <br />
<br />
Okay friends. Yes, the topics of predestination and free will are messy topics. So does that mean we should never talk about them? Definitely not. On the contrary, I think it's really important that all believers actively evaluate what they believe on this topic because it influences your daily life and your major decisions A LOT. I also realized that majority of people don't necessarily get the opportunity to sit through a ministry class that challenges them to think through these things, so here we go - welcome to class. <br />
<br />
Three Approaches (generalized definitions don't quote me on these): <br />
<strong><u>1. Wisdom Approach</u></strong> - Basically leaves us on your own to make God-honoring decisions based off of the Bible and seeking wise counsel from others. <br />
<strong><u>2. Specific-Will Approach</u></strong> - A popular choice of modern churches, this shifts the workload to the Lord who has determined our precise path - and all we have to do is find it. <br />
<strong><u>3. Relationship Approach</u></strong> - This recognizes that God is intimately involved in our lives and yet limits his control in such a way that requires us to take responsibility for decisions. He provides us guidance while in relationship with us to be able to make decisions that will be God-honoring. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So what do you believe?</span> <br />
<br />
The tricky part: all of these approaches have Scripture to back them up. The other tricky part: certain ideology has been engrained in those of us who grew up in the church. In fact, our Sunday School lesson for the pre-schoolers this past Sunday was "God has a unique plan for your life." I sat there and watched as all the kids repeated that lesson. Unfortunately, I couldn't repeat it with them. <br />
<br />
I think of it in regards to the crucifixion - God's sovereign plan was to send His son to die on the cross and be raised from the grave the third day. That was going to happen, that was set from the beginning of time. But was Peter chosen before birth to be the one who walked on the water? Was Paul pre-destined to oppose Jesus only to be transformed later on the road to Damascus? Or did the Lord allow those things to happen as circumstances unveiled and He saw that the Kingdom could be glorified through that? <br />
<br />
I'm not telling you to think either which way. To be honest, I have at one point in my life believed all three of these approaches. Either way though, it is good to pray and discern what you believe because it will majorly influence your decisions and how you respond to others' advice as well. Unfortunately, when others tell me "If you guys break up it's okay because the Lord is just bringing you closer to the person He has chosen for you," well I'd have to disagree...because I don't think it works that way. I could tell you all my beliefs, but let's face it this blog is already long and jumbled and most of you are probably already lost. <br />
<br />
Moral of the story is - <em>don't run from the things that scare you</em>. Yes, theology can be overwhelming - but does that mean we shouldn't seek to grow in our understanding? Yes, evangelism can be scary and uncomfortable - does that mean we shouldn't spread the Gospel? Yes, vulnerable relationships can hurt you but does that mean we should never let others in? We will never understand everything, and at some point or another we will probably stand more as barriers to the Gospel then pathways - but that doesn't mean God wants us to stand paralyzed. Keep on keeping on, challenge your mind, and seek His face - for those who ask it will be given and for those who seek will find. <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7. </div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0