Unbelizeable

What a beautiful end to one of the most transformative summers of my life. Belize was absolutely incredible; and God faithfully answered my prayers by delivering a week full of so much joy and laughter. I partnered with Jenn, a summer staff “alumn,” who worked in Costa Rica the last two summers. I was really excited to work with Jenn who I had heard about all summer from those in the community who had absolutely adored her; and it’s obvious why. Jenn is incredibly gifted; she has the ability to balance both organization and leadership with relationship building and spiritual development. When the Lord binds leadership together it’s clear how much it can define the entire experience. I like to say Jenn and I were soulmates from the start; and to say I loved working with her would be a complete understatement. I felt so blessed all week to get to lead with Jenn, it’s amazing how she makes everyone just fall in love with her. Throughout the week our leadership team would have dance-party breaks (we made up our own move of course), pillow-talks, and even a team fast to re-focus on prayer. With that said, I really hope one day I get the opportunity to lead another team with her!

Not only was the Lord faithful to bring an amazing partner to lead with, but He delivered an incredible group to lead. Our group of 15 adults from Indiana brought me so much joy and laughter throughout the week. I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun with a team and every single person was filled with so much charm and wit. I always say each team has some kind of gift or passion that is seen throughout the week, and with this team it was definitely their strength and hard-work. I was so impressed with their ability to just go-go-go and by the end of Thursday morning we had completely finished the construction project for the week. Belize was an awesome community to work with; and for the first time, I felt like we were actually working under the local church. La Familia de Dios is a network of 32 churches around Belmopan that work together to reach the community for Christ. The church body rises up to basically host the short-term mission teams that have come through Experience Mission to meet the need for a particular church. It was a beautiful experience to feel like I was working UNDER the local church, under their vision, under the local workers, under the local pastors; rather than feeling as though I was the boss or the one responsible since I was the one with the resources. It was so refreshing and I think it just re-iterated to me how important it is for short-term missions to work underneath an ongoing ministry and seek direction from local pastors.

There are too many memories from this week, I could go on and on; but all I can say is that I feel truly truly happy that I had the opportunity to go to Belize and lead this team. Jenn and I talked often about the plans of the Lord, how every moment of every day has a specific plan for His Kingdom. We waste our lives believing the lie that this life is about us and our desires and our motivations. Even as Christians, we somehow begin to think we have it all figured out or that we are worthy to pass judgment on others. For me, God continues to bring me back again and again to humble brokenness. After reflecting on this summer, I will openly admit that I failed time and time again; that at times I fell short in loving people; that I allowed myself to be overcome with worries and tasks; that I listened to the lies of the Devil who told me I couldn’t do it anymore. But even through all these failures, I can proclaim strength in God’s Name and that’s the most incredible part about Christianity. It’s not about getting all we want, or feeling happy all the time, or buying our way to heaven – it’s so so so much more. It’s freedom. It’s joy much deeper than feelings. It’s a mercy that is woken up to each morning. It’s a love that’s unexplainable. It’s eyes that see the darkness of the world and a heart that burns wanting others to know truth – to know life. If you want the truth it’s this: I’m a total mess-up. I still struggle with perfectionism and getting caught up in trying to please man. I still lust after materialism and want what others have. I still succumb to complete selfishness, mood swings, and want for control.

But the Lord brings good news.

He reminds me that I am not a victim to this world, that I have found victory in Christ. Each morning, I am encouraed that it is not about what I can or cannot do, but what HE can do. I am strengthened in my weaknesses. I find purpose and life in His Name. For so long I was a dead-man walking, I thought I had it all figured out, I placed God in a box and let Him support me in whatever I happened to choose for myself, I treated others with little concern for love or grace. Now, if there is one thing I know – it's that ALL people need the Lord to know life. Not just in the third world or inner city or middle of the jungle – but everywhere: within your family, in your workforce, right next door, literally all around you. So what are you living for; for money or “success;” for a God who serves YOUR plans; for that future Christian man or woman? We hear it all the time in the church, that reiterated Bible verse – go and be disciples of nations. We are the Lord’s disciples and we are living in every nation. Are we “going”? More importantly, are we “being”? We are fighting a battle that has already been won; but how many will be on the losing side, how many are our very closest friends and family? All deserve victory in Christ- because without it we’re dead.

Thank you for praying and supporting me throughout this incredibly challenging and stretching summer. Without the power of prayer and words of encouragement from back home I know the attacks of the Devil would have been felt that much stronger. Please continue to pray for the communities in Talamanca, Costa Rica and Belmopan, Belize – both have passion-filled, strong churches that I know the Lord will use for the salvation of many. Pray for both Pastor Indalecio and Pastor Nelson who are stretched beyond belief as leaders of their congregations. Please pray for Experience Mission staff who will continue to partner with communities and work alongside them to empower local churches and give them hope and vision for the future. Please pray for Susie, Roberto, and Jenn as they all return home and enter into the next season that the Lord has for them and continue to take up their cross and follow Him. Finally, pray for your own lives – your neighborhood, your church, your family, your closest friends, this is our mission field. 

Bitter Sweet End

So here I am, back in San Jose and thinking how I may never see the incredible people of Shiroles again (of course God's plans reign, so who knows!). Whatever happens in the future, I feel so blessed to get to look back on this summer and find a time filled with incredible memories, relationships, and an overwhelming amount of joy and love. I will never, ever forget all of our incredible "community partners," who were so much more like family. Sara and Victor, our community parents, were our backbones the entire summer. There were many times that I would go to Sara crying and she would hold and comfort me, or times that we would all work together with community problems or logistics. They are true examples of the image of Christ. Pastor Indalecio's devotion and testimony inspired me to give my all for Christ - and to follow in complete obedience when He gives a specific calling. I have hope for the future of Jonathan & Giselle as the new leaders of Iglesia Cristiano de Dios, I know their servant-heartedness and persistence will reach the community for Christ. For everyone else, all the cooks and workers, kids, and youth of the community - the culture of Talamanca, the lifestyle of the Bribri, the darkness that still exists and the need for revival; all will continue to be in my daily prayers. 

I was so encouraged this week by our myriad of people and teams from Florida, Michigan, Kansas, and Israel! Throughout the week our teams continued work on the church bathrooms, working on the inside stalls and outside wall stucco, we will be leaving the community with very little left to complete the project. We also saw a lot of progress in our work with the home of Pastor Jonathan who hopes to complete this home construction project and use his bigger home to start up a ministry to host mission groups and pastors. With just Roberto and I the week had a very different dynamic! Without that third person there to sway decisions or form clicks, we came together in all of our decisions; and even though our responsibilities doubled there was joy and peace throughout the week. We began placing prayer more at the forefront of our daily schedules and used evenings to really debrief within our leadership and within our personal lives. Through our leader debrief, I was able to open up more about my dad who passed away when I was 16. Through the growth I’ve had this summer I feel I was able to be more vulnerable as I shared my testimony with the groups – my father having a seizure and taking care of him until he passed away, partying in high school and losing myself in the world, and the depression that I experienced in different seasons through college. Roberto has lost both of his parents and I know the Lord partnered us together this summer for a reason – it’s been encouraging for me to share and be open and vulnerable about my past and how God has so graciously delivered me and restored my life.

I was also very encouraged by our team who wrote me sweet notes and bought me small gifts of appreciation throughout the week; it was the words of affirmation that I desperately needed to keep going! It was fun getting to lead kids club, though it definitely stretched my patience – “Sarah. Sarah. Sarah” J What was the most impactful for me this week though was the opportunity we got to stretch our outreach ministry beyond kids club. The Lord had placed it on my heart this summer to try and reach out to the youth of the community where there is the most prevalent darkness of drugs, alcohol, depression, and witchcraft. It’s a difficult age group to reach out to – most want nothing to do with the church. We attempted to throw a last minute movie night last week, but kids ended up coming and mostly just running around. This week I knew I wanted to get the word out right. So we created fliers and passed them out to teenagers we saw walking, the two main pulperias let me post up the paper on their doors, and Roberto made an announcement after the community men’s soccer game. We began praying for this outreach; that it would plant a seed in the youth or at least transform their negative attitude toward the church. We began popping popcorn, filling cups with powerade, and setting up the projector and banks for a movie night under the stars. When I settled into one of the pews, I was shocked when I looked around and saw anywhere from 60 – 70 young people from the community. Underneath their Bob Marley dress, slumped postures, and “I don’t care” attitudes – I saw the beauty of God’s creation and hope for the future generation of those in Shiroles. It may have been a small step, but I was so grateful that our prayers had been answered and that so many had come to fellowship with us. On Thursday, we decided to do a prayer walk a little bit different than the first. This time, Pastor took us to four different homes and people who he knew had specific needs throughout the community. We stopped at the home of a young woman who had left the church and had fallen back into drinking, a burnt-out female pastor who leads an outside church covered by a large black tarp further up the mountain, Pastor’s father who is reaching old-age and struggling with illness, and a tabernacle in Monte Cion where Pastor Indalecio envisions leading worship services in the future. As we stood in this wooden sanctuary we began singing worship a cappella and praying all at once, all the while the Lord brought a striking thunder as background music for this time of covering the community with prayer – how great is Our God!

So now, I’m left waiting to leave for my plane for Belize at 10 tonight. Roberto left earlier and I just still cannot believe that our time in Costa Rica is officially over! I decided last week that I would take each day one at a time, and that I wanted to cherish my last week in Talamanca instead of getting my head stuck in Belize or school. Now that I am officially done with this week, I am so pumped for Belize! I started talking to Mauricio, our partner at the hostel in San Jose, and he started going on and on about a trip he made to Belize. Please be praying for me as I venture there on my own and jump into this new community to lead a team! Even though I’ll be in a new place I know that the Lord will give me wisdom and strength to connect the community with our teams. 

Goodbye to Threes Company

Week five marked the last week of working with our entire leadership team. It was bitter sweet doing things for the last time with Susie. The community threw her a big dinner, with a small bonfire, and a tres leches cake to celebrate her last night.

We hosted Cumberland Fellowship of Tennessee and they were an extremely flexible and understanding group – you could tell that they just got it. In everything they did they wanted to empower the local church and support the local pastors and members, recognizing that they were the ones who would reach the community for Christ. Of course, the week started off with a little dilemma. On our way to San Jose, our bus got stuck in the middle of nowhere when the streets were closed from flooding. After waiting four hours at a standstill, we cautiously crossed a flooded road, only to stop at a nearby gas station for the night. After spending the night on the public bus, we woke up the next morning only to find out that we would be stranded for most of the morning. Every single route to San Jose was closed off, mostly because of the unpredictability of the mountain roads and the danger of possible landslides. The roads opened up right in time for us to race to the airport to meet our team; but after evaluating the situation and learning that the roads near Shiroles were still closed we decided it was best to stay the night in San Jose. So, we arrived in Shiroles early Monday morning and took our team around the community and to the river for a quick swim. It was unfortunate that we missed a day, but if there was any team that could have handled it, it was the team from Cumberland Fellowship. Our team of 14 was a mix of college students and adults; they had a huge heart for children’s ministry, and were all extremely hard working. Our team continued work on the church bathrooms; we finished the top blocks of border and began spreading cement to form a smooth outside wall. We also continued work on the computer classroom of the local school where we created wooden forms to poor cement on the outside walls. What most teams complete in five full days, our team this week completed in three half days.

With their passion for children’s ministry and their experience with local children’s outreach, our team felt especially drawn to the kids of the community. The entire team decided to participate in kid’s club each afternoon. We also had a community movie night with a huge wall projector, and were able to continue outreach to the kids and to the youth of the community who are a little more difficult to reach. On Friday afternoon, our team decided to use the morning for a special outreach . We threw a huge field day at our host church and had an entire morning of relay races, crafts, popcorn and lemonade, and pump up jams. Our team put their imagination to work and created an array of games with random items lying around the house: everything from work boots, to water bottles, to pieces of scrap wood. 

 On Thursday night, our team joined Pastor Indalecio’s church for a worship service. Susie and Blake led songs in both Spanish and English and two college students from the team shared their testimonies. In Talamanca, the Bribri often see white people and assume that they are from a life of affluence and ease. It was beautiful to hear the blunt testimonies of both Cody and Erin. It was the first time both of them shared their testimony, which was a surprise to me because they were so direct and vulnerable – holding nothing back and talking directly about their past of alcoholism, drugs, sexual immorality, and teenage pregnancy. Sam, the youth pastor, talked about how God’s plan unveiled that night when people from the community began crying while our team shared their stories. The issues in the testimonies are issues that are very prevalent in the community. As I looked out into the congregation, I could see how the Holy Spirit was moving in everyone’s hearts. The young girl next to me cried as she wrapped her arms around her little girl. I loved being able to witness it all. This is how we can reach the Bribri – humbly admitting our similar weaknesses and proclaiming how God can conquer them all. We don’t have it all together. We may be materially affluent – but there are still so many who are spiritually dead. We all look different, we have different ways of doing things, we speak a different language, and even believe in different things; but there is one thing that every single person has in common on this Earth: we are all under the horrible darkness of the world and tempted by the wickedness of our flesh – and we all desperately need the salvation of Christ. That’s what this is all about. It’s not about making buildings that will one day crumble, it’s not about singing songs or delivering messages, it’s not even about any service or love that we can offer – it’s about the fall of man, and the need for life that is only found in our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Now, this week is what I like to call our “finale” week here in Costa Rica. It is now just Roberto and I, and this week I will be taking on most of Susie’s responsibilities with kids club and evening worship. We are hosting 17 people: a group of 7 from Florida (they sing Gospel and I’m really excited), a young couple from a college in Kansas, a group of 7 from Michigan, and Danielle – a girl who was allowed to come alone as a special mission trip before she serves in the Israeli army. I KNOW the Lord has some awesome things in store for this last team and our last week in Costa Rica. It is such a bitter sweet end to a beautiful summer in Talamanca. It’s hard to imagine that this week will consist of many “lasts”: our last time grocery shopping, our last time telling facts of the cloud and rain forests, our last time going to the river, so on and so forth. Please be praying for Roberto and me as we handle this week on our own. Pray that we find strength in God and direction and guidance in every word and step that we take.

Southern Charm

Here I am, back in Shiroles in the comforts of my familiar room (and cot) and back to the simple lifestyle of the Bribri while engulfed by the beauty of nature that surrounds me. So much of me wishes I was here just to love and serve these people rather than having to lead short-term mission teams. I think this has been an incredible internship and opportunity, but I can’t help but think that this position is not what it’s all about. It’s an extremely busy, stressful position leading teams. It makes me realize how difficult it must be for long-term missionaries who take time away from their personal ministry to host such teams. I’ve been discouraged a few times by the pure exhaustion that comes from this position, and the realization that such a job calls for someone to work the entire day, every day, without any real down time. It’s been the hardest part for me. You know how you give your all during short-term mission trips? You have a set apart time to love and serve people, to follow this jam-packed schedule filled with work projects, kids club, worship, debrief etc. etc. Then you go back home, sleep for an entire day, and return to your normal routine? Well, as a summer staff – we don’t get that day of rest, and we give it our all week after week after week. After reflecting on this fact, I realized that it’s not missions necessarily that terrifies me, it’s working my life away that I fear the most. And honestly, that’s not the way God intended it to be. We fill our lives with busyness and often forget to be still and listen to the Lord. Then we turn around and ask for wisdom and direction and get frustrated when we don’t understand or see a clear cut picture. Anyway, I realize I’m straying off the beaten path. Point is: I’m ready to sit, be still, and listen to the Lord this week. I’ve allowed the Devil to discourage me in my passion for a life on the mission field (which should be all of our lives); but am realizing that it is the busyness I want to shy away from not the mission field itself.

Last week, we hosted In Focus Church of Georgia and two college graduates from Kentucky. If I could describe the week in one word it would be “fun.” The spirit of our group was so joyful and full of humor. For the first time, I felt like our group had the same sense of humor as me and my week was filled with just an incredible amount of laughter. Our teams rocked at making relationships with the community, they weren’t so wrapped up in the go-go-go mentality and were able to embrace the lax nature of the culture. We continued work on the church bathrooms (which seem to be nearing completion!), dug a gutter around the church sanctuary to prevent flooding from the typical downpours of the region, and continued work on the school computer lab. Reflecting on the week, I can’t quite pinpoint a specific quality that made me connect with this group but I just absolutely adored everyone! It might have been that they were gamers, and every night we ended in either a game of Mafia, four square, or an impromptu game. It made me think of my game nights back home and I absolutely enjoyed every minute of it! I especially connected with the female leader of the group, Barbara. When first meeting her I was intimidated by her strong personality and extreme sense of sarcasm; but as the days went on I had the opportunity to talk with Barbara about her life and hear her wisdom. She had been through a lot as a child and had spent a majority of her adult life far from God, but through a radical transformation of the Spirit she continues to seek to align her life towards a life of righteousness. I was really inspired by how much she continued to question and reflect on different issues, listening and learning, always eager to know more. I think a lot of times we think we have it all figured out, get stuck going through the motions, or close our ears off when God calls us to new things. It takes a strong woman of God to admit that she doesn’t have it all figured out yet, and to proclaim that she will continue to seek truth and grow closer with the Lord in the process.

I’ll be honest and admit that I’ve been through a lot of spiritual warfare while out here on the mission field. I had a passion for missions before this summer, but being here just makes me realize even more how truly important it is to pray for our brothers and sisters who are spreading the name of Christ on the field. Those who truly sacrifice all that they have to take up their cross and follow the Lord are the ones who the Devil is out to attack the most. It is not easy. I remember asking the Lord for tests and hardships so that He would break me of all that I cling to, that I would not consider anything my own, and would lay down my life for His namesake. Now, here I am – and there have been times that I question my ability to live on the field and have focused on my inadequacies; but I am continually reminded me that this is not my ministry, it is HIS. This is not about what I can or cannot do; it’s about what HE can do through me. There is always hope in despair and His presence in the midst of chaos. I was reading a piece of Joyce Myer's devotional and it really spoke to me. It talked about how it is good to acknowledge our weaknesses, but not to dwell on them - instead we must proclaim strength through His Name and His power.

I feel like this entry is sort of jumbled and I apologize if it may have been hard to follow, but I want to type out a prayer I wrote in my journal and the Scripture that the Lord specifically brought me to give you all a glimpse of what I'm feeling - and the faithfulness of the Lord in sustaining me through these experiences. Please continue to pray for our leadership team in Costa Rica as we prepare for our last two short-term mission teams, we will be hosting an adult team from Cumberland Fellowship this next week. Eric, the youth pastor of In Focus, gave us some good advice to finish off the summer. He reminded us "This may be your millionth time, but it will be the group's first time. So treat your last two teams with the same energy and enthusiasm as the first." I think he is absolutely right, and though our strength and energy is draining - we will continue to pray that the Lord will take over and make these last two weeks just as unforgettable as the first two. 

July 20, 2012

7:10am

I will be quiet before You Lord. I will be still before You my God. Open my eyes to see the beauty of Your creation that surrounds me, open my eyes to hear your voice above all other noise. Lord, I long for Your presence, when you speak and act through me my soul is left joyful and longing for more of You. I will never understand Your ways or comprehend the vastness of Your majesty – I am brought down and bruised – but I find truth in your ways. In this life I will fail, I will be strayed in my selfishness; I will despise myself and this world. I will feel lost in hopelessness, and I will always fall short in bringing you glory. But I thank you precious Lord, that with every morning I get to wake up to Your wonderful, beautiful mercy. Why is grace extended to a peasant, so unworthy? How can you love me when I am unable to return the same incredible love and am tainted by the ways of this world? I’ll never know why or how – all I do know is the truth of Your undying love and faithfulness, I know of Your tests and promises that keep me in awe of your Majestic Being. Lord make me Your servant, use me for the sake of Your Kingdom. Shape and mold my heart, body, mind, and soul to be pleasing to You. Humble me to become a servant to all, give me life in Your ways. When all is lost I am found in You. When I am poor in this world, I am rich in Your Kingdom. Consume me Holy Spirit, may my life not just be filled with worthless thoughts or actions, may You extend my ways past more than talk. Lord, focus my eyes on You, turn my thoughts and actions to You – to our Love – to a transformation of all that I am. Remove all judgments or assumptions from my mind; build in me a heart that cherishes every aspect of Your creation that has form in this Earth. Lord continually break me of my personal plans and desires, align my mind and motivations to your own. Precious God I long for You, I am thirsty for more of You. Take over my life, be the light in the midst of darkness- both in this world and in my soul. Your ways are higher; lead me in a life of righteousness. Speak to me God, reveal Yourself to me within every moment of every day. Revive me with a burning fire in my Spirit – to follow You will all that I have, to sacrifice all that I cling to, to purify myself for Your intimate love – my Heavenly Prince. I will be quiet before You Lord. I will be still before You My God.

“In town after town the Holy Spirit testifies to me that chains and afflictions are waiting for me. But I count my life of no value to myself, so that I may finish my course and the ministry I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the Gospel of God’s grace” Acts 20:23-24

Works Without Faith is Dead.

As I sit in a Caribbean smoothie shop in Cahuita, I can’t help but think how badly I needed just one afternoon on my own. I always knew we would have a jam packed schedule, and I had always thought I thrived off of busy-ness; but I’m realizing more and more just how introverted I truly am. I really do value my alone time and some of my most precious times with Jesus are in the confines of my room or in complete silence and meditation. When groups ask me what the most difficult part is of this job, I always say the lack of time. I recently discovered that learning how to be still in today’s society is one of the biggest challenges to walking in a life of righteousness. Even within the ministry, we pack our schedules with Bible studies, accountability partners, church services, volunteer work, Christian concerts, so on and so forth; and all of these things are great, but where do we draw the line? It’s one thing to be surrounded by Christian activities and friends; it’s another to dwell in His Holy Spirit. We can talk all we want about how much we love God- but if someone were to read our mind, how much do our thoughts (and actions) reflect Christ? If you’ve ever been in love, you know that you want to spend 24 hours a day with that special person. There is just never enough time that you can spend with them. So if we claim to love Jesus, why do we struggle in finding time alone with Him or talking with Him throughout our day? God isn’t supposed to be fit into our schedules; He is supposed to be THE schedule, to experience God’s true love we must learn to give our lives, including our routines, to Him. This has been a struggle for me, a tension between what “needs” to be done, and what I truly need- the presence of the Holy Spirit; because without that, what is the purpose of life or our work?

In the midst of this personal battle of mine, the Lord brought me a week filled with passionate prayer and worship to bring me back to His majesty. We hosted two groups this week: one an adult group from an Assemblies of God church in Chicago, the other a youth group from Grace Presbyterian church in Colorado. Talk about cross-cultural experiences! Cross-generational, cross-regional, cross-denominational; it was neat to see how all came together in unity to serve our one true God.  I had been excited from the beginning about our adult group, solely because we had had a lot of youth and I just knew I was going to be the learner rather than the teacher in this group. Since our group of adults also spoke Spanish, we were able to reach out to the community like we never had before. On Tuesday, we had a prayer walk through the community where we stopped at different locations in the village (ie. School, church, soccer field etc.) to pray over each area. We had the opportunity to pray over individual workers and homes, and I was brought to tears when we stopped at the home of our community partners, Sara and Victor, to shower them with prayer in the middle of their living room. We ended our walk at our main construction site, Pastor Indalecio’s church, where Pastor spoke to us. He told us how much he loved the way we were stopping work to pray over the community, how the balance of a word and deed Gospel is just not done enough. He touched on exactly what I had been praying about – that works without faith is dead. On Thursday, we held our first ever women’s ministry. It had been placed on the hearts of both Susie and I to start up this outreach. We were able to get together with the women of the community in the middle of the day when they are done with cooking and their husbands are still working at the plantain farms. We came together over coffee and sweet bread while we made friendship bracelets and sang songs of worship in Spanish and English. It was a really special time for me as I saw the vision that the Lord had given me play out in this community. 

Both teams worked hard to continue construction on the church bathrooms and floors, Pastor Jonathan’s house construction project, and the high school computer lab project. We even had a special painting project that three girls from the community came to us with through a letter. We paired the three Bribri girls with three girls from our group to complete it, and the day ended with a paint fight! Within all of the construction projects, both of our groups were incredible at forming relationships as they worked alongside those in the community. For me though, the overwhelming theme of the week was much more spiritual than usual and it was exactly what I needed.

The beautiful part of it all, was that for almost everyone in our group this week was their first international mission trip. Many came to me crying, overwhelmed by the poverty and guilted by their selfish blessings. During a night of debrief, I asked the group what their motivations and expectations were before coming on this trip. Some answers were honest- to get away from home; others were typical- to serve God, etc. but as they were sharing I realized that many were beginning to feel disgusted with the American abundance and overcome with honeymoon feelings of the humility of the Bribri. See, it’s good to feel a sort of compassion and humility when you come on a mission trip but that’s by no means what it is all about. They talked about how hard working the Bribri are, how accepting they are, and how they so easily accept love. But I twisted the situation on them, as I realized I am guilty of succumbing to the same feelings. Are the Bribri really that much more hard working and accepting than Americans? Or do we just come to mission trips with the open-mindedness and servant-heartedness necessary to see and value others the way we should see and value everyone? A mission trip is an allotted time that we have to accept those around us, to learn from others, to love and serve no matter what that means- but how does that translate to our lives back home? Are there not American women and men of all ages, of all salaries, of all professions who need Jesus just as desperately as those in third world countries? America may be rich in money, but we are poor in Spirit. Many claim Christianity as their lives reflect the world. Many drown in wealth and at the same time drown in depression. Many are blinded to think money and success bring life, when all it does is quicken death. Maybe, if we begin to live our lives the way we live them during our one-week mission trip than we will truly see ALL others as made in the image of Christ. Maybe, if we stop reserving church for Sundays and learn to give our ENTIRE lives away to the Lord then we will finally see transformation in our lives and the lives of others around us.

Whether we are in the church or out of it, passionate worshippers or silent meditators, professionals or laborers, Bribri or American – we are all in need of truth; we all need to learn how to give our lives away to find life in Jesus Christ. 

And every day, in the temple and from house to house, 

they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ. 

Acts 5:42

A Near Revival

Wow the Lord moved in big ways this week! Our team of 46 came in to San Jose late last Saturday night with a three hour delay that left Susie, Roberto, and I killing time by screaming worship in the car, freestyle rapping in front of the airport, and finally admitting delirium while watching UFC  fights in the airport café. From the start, I was deeply impacted by the strong leadership of Christ Community Church. Kim, the youth pastor, maintains an incredible balance of energy, authority, and passion for Jesus. Each of the team leaders of this big group acted as genuine examples of what men and woman of God look like. The leaders placed prayer at the forefront of every single activity and there was an emphasis on spiritual disciplines; morning silence, Biblical devotions, group prayer, affirmations, one-on-one accountability, just to name a few.

Above all, I was most impressed by the spiritual maturity of each student. I’d like to take credit for spiritually leading the group throughout the week, but I can humbly admit that I think I took more out of this group then I gave. The group’s love for Christ was absolutely contagious and their servant hearts gave me hope in the youth of the body of Christ. As cliché as it may sound, I always thought of the line from Hosanna “I see a generation, rising up to take their place with selfless faith.” Every person was so eager to serve, from something as small as filling up your waterfall to making real friendships with those who they worked with in the community. I loved the eagerness of everyone who shot up their hands to pray or serve food and who constantly supported and encouraged all the interns.

My favorite part of the entire week was Tuesday morning when we woke up to a downpour of rain. We had expected this would happen eventually, I mean, we are in the Costa Rican rainforest. Initially, the team was bummed that we would have to wait for the rain to clear before we could start work. However, it didn’t take long to make the decision that we would spend the morning in devotion to the Lord. The team loves worship and their voices are strong and powerful, so as we began worship it was only a matter of time until the community began to slowly trickly into the church sanctuary to get a glimpse of the scene. Susie led us in singing with the community simultaneous Spanish and English, and after the second set of worship I had the incredible opportunity to share my testimony with the group and the community. It took a few minutes to adjust to having to share my testimony in both Spanish and English, but as I opened myself up and let my walls come down I experienced the complete fulfillment of the Lord. After letting every person in the room hear my story I felt extremely broken and vulnerable, reminded of my past and the all-powerful grace that I am so unworthy of but has covered my past regrets. As we continued to sing songs the Lord completely brought me to my knees to worship in complete surrender and awe of His Majesty. It’s rare that we are given four hours to spend in devotion with the Lord in worship, but I praise God for that rain that allowed us to do just that. It was a time that I know Roberto, Susie, and I all desperately needed- a revival in our hearts that reminded us of the beauty of our Lord and the true purpose of this summer: to share that beauty with others so that they may come to know it as well.

Before the week began, I had prayed desperately that the Lord would build a desire in me to build relationships rather than be so distracted with the work. My prayers were answered as I felt so eager to learn about those in our group and in the community. The Lord completely engulfed me as I somehow miraculously improved in my Spanish and was able to have in-depth conversations with the Bribri. It was so beautiful!

Of course, the week was not without its problems – for what is the point of life if we were not made to depend on God?  Our struggles mainly occurred between Susie, Roberto, and I. It was tough this week especially, because for the majority of the week we all had to split up. We had four construction worksites: the church bathrooms, the sanctuary floors, a house demolition project, and a computer lab for the local high school. It was a struggle to keep the flow of communication as we all ran around like chickens trying to keep all the different worksites together. Roberto especially felt overwhelmed as the construction coordinator. I apologized to my team about the constant struggle to balance forming relationships and tasks- please pray for me as I grow in this!

Through it all, I praise the Lord that within my job I get to work with two other leaders who love Jesus and desire to do His will. We were all extremely broken by the end of the week. I had gotten sick earlier in the week and was drowned in tears and held/comforted by our cook, Sarah. Susie had a long week at kids club which ran long every single day. Roberto ran from one worksite to the next and stepped up as one of the students fainted from heat exhaustion. We began to snap at one another, and I even had to retreat into the mountains to just cry out to Jesus. Last night, we knew we had to sit down and talk. What followed was a night of beautiful reconciliation and complete brokenness. We went from fighting, to talking and listening, to crying, to holding and kissing each other desperately crying out to God to overcome our team. We ended the night running out to our car and driving down the bumpy roads of Bribri screaming out “We will run to you, we will run to you. Desperate for your truth, we return to You.” How powerful is the healing hand of Christ!

No words could describe how beautiful this week was. It was filled with experiences like climbing a mountain to chop down wood and killing a pig for dinner. Most of all, I was just so touched by each student, who shined their flashlights over their Bibles before bed and woke up in reverent silence before the Lord. They made a special impact in the community who took part in their evening affirmations, joined us for worship, and were touched by the deep love they offered. This is the body of Christ, and I am thankful that this week gave me the opportunity to get a real glimpse of the Kingdom.

First Taste of Summer

Week one was an incredible week that laid a strong foundation for the rest of the summer. Roberto, Susie, and I picked up our first group of 15, the youth of Morgan Hill Presbyterian Church. We (hopefully) won their hearts from the start when we greeted them with fresh bananas! Our leadership team felt confident and excited for this first week, and the Lord faithfully blessed us with a team that was open-minded and flexible. Our daily schedule starts off with personal devotions, a morning devotion which I lead, a morning construction project, an afternoon kids club, and an evening program that includes worship, a message, and a time of debrief. All week, our team worked extremely hard to construct church bathrooms for Pastor Indalecio’s church. It was a stretching experience for some of the team leaders, who have experience with construction and had to face the slow process of the Bribri. We are in an indigenous culture after all, and construction isn’t as easy as a quick stop at the Home Depot. To make cement we had to dig up sand, transport it to the worksite, sift the sand to remove the rocks, and mix it with water. It was a humbling experience that helped many of us to better admire the homes and buildings of the Bribri; those which are wooden are literally chopped down from the trees of the surrounding forest. There were a couple of students who really devoted themselves to the construction, and through their hard work formed relationships with several of the workers from the community who had partnered with us. One student created a strong bond with our construction partner, Victor. They barely said a word to one another, but working side by side every day formed a strong friendship that impacted them both. 

Many of our students really enjoyed Kids Club, where they found the kids of the community were much more open and loving than what they were accustomed to in the states. It was beautiful to watch the students form relationships and give affection to the kids despite the cultural difference and language barrier.  I get to lead the evening small group/debrief time and it was incredible to hear from each of the students, what they struggled with and what God revealed to them. We had five themes throughout the week: dignity, relational-focus, motivation, mutual influence, and long-term transformation. Many of the students realized the importance of community, not just by the close-knit collectivism of the Bribri but also by the support and encouragement of their own unified youth group. Others realized how relationships are so much more than words, but are found in actions. It was awesome to hear how God was revealing Himself to each person in the group, but what touched me even more was to hear the impact the group had with those in the community as well. Both Sara and Victor talked to our leadership team throughout the week about how happy they were from this first group. Sara loved the way we got the team involved in the kitchen and said for the first time she was able to step back and watch as the team members offered so much help. Victor, who never cooks, made our group a special chocolate cake on the last night to show his appreciation. This act of gratitude touched me so deeply, and after the group left we went to Sara and Victor’s and rejoiced in how quickly the Lord had bonded us together, how happy we were to genuinely trust and love one another.  Kimberley, one of the little girls from kids club, wrote on all of our papers “Kimberley <3’s [insert name]” on the last day of the week. It was so beautiful to see that both the members of our short-term missions group AND people of the community were impacted by the week. Even between our leadership team and our first group, relationships were made quickly. A tearful goodbye at the airport left us joyful and aware of the power of the Holy Spirit who can form deep friendships so quickly by His love.

Of course, not everything was perfect and easy. There were several points in the week that I thought I would have a panic attack. For me personally, the Lord taught me MANY things with every passing day. Upon this week of rest I’ve had the opportunity to reflect and pray over these revelations, how I can apply them to grow in a life of righteousness. I formally apologized to my teammates yesterday, convicted in the way I was trying to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, meanwhile taking out my impatience and stubbornness on them. I prayed deeply over the spiritual warfare I’ve experienced here, overwhelmed by culture shock and attacked by the Devil. With much responsibility comes the desire for much control- but it shouldn’t be this way. With more power should come more reliance on the Lord and I will humbly admit that I have fallen short in this, allowing myself to be overcome with worry and attacked by my perfectionism. How wonderful is His Holy Spirit, which brings new wisdom every day and which reveals our biggest weaknesses. I realized how I have come here open and flexible to learn the ways of the Bribri and to love and serve them… only to turn around and have low tolerance and patience for the American Christians that are part of the short-term mission teams. The Lord revealed this to me the first night: my tendency to select those who I extend grace to. God does not call us to love and serve only those who we choose to or those who may be comfortable to, no; He calls us to love and serve ALL others.  This is so much easier said than done, which brings me to my next revelation: talking about poverty is so much different than living in poverty. We can talk all we want about the reality of world hunger, the need of orphans, the horror of sex trafficking so on and so forth; but it is a whole other ball game to be living and seeing it. I am uncomfortable here; it’s not a surprise to me… I wanted to be uncomfortable, I PRAYED to be uncomfortable; but living it out brings so many other hardships and personal battles. It’s an awesome experience and I am so happy that the Lord has allowed me to be uncomfortable for the sake of His Name. That might sound weird, but I’ve realized how unfortunate it is to be a comfortable, American Christian. We pride ourselves on our Christian books, radio stations, quotes and other paraphernalia; but we miss out on the radical transformation of the Lord. We are so distracted by “stuff,” by our constant strive for success, money, or whatever else we think the purpose of life rests on; while millions around the world have never even heard the name of Christ, or who serve and fear a god of judgment, or strive to remain in harmony with everything that has mass and therefore also has a spirit. If not the distraction of material, we may also get caught up in our compassion. Christian ministries often get wrapped up in social work- feeding the hungry, caring for the orphans, ESL classes, etc. but they fall short in spreading the Gospel. All of these things without the mention of Jesus are just social work, which on its own does nothing. None of these things are wrong of course, but what kind of message does that send? We spend years and years caring for physical bodies without ever mentioning Christ, what is the point when our bodies will return to dust one day anyway?

Last night, we had the chance to visit a local church service. Those in the congregation praised the Lord with such genuine passion and love, the presence of the Holy Spirit was undeniable. How many times have I visited American churches and experienced spiritual dryness rather than contagious worship? I don’t mean to bash American Christians, but the more I am here the more I feel the desire to share the name of Christ and lift people out of the sin that keeps them from ever experiencing true life. If the Bribri, who have nothing, can experience Christ genuinely and passionately; what does that tell us about where our truth lies? Surely, not in the stuff we have or the “success” the world believes we have attained through money. Many in the church here tell us “what is mine is yours, for everything in this world is the Lord’s.” May we be challenged to give more, sacrifice more, for while we live in spiritual apathy, millions around the world and right next door die without ever hearing the hope of salvation that only comes from Jesus Christ.

I just finished reading Revolution in World Missions by K.P. Yohannan and it has really struck a chord in me and how I view missions. “The lesson from the mission field is that meeting physical needs alone does not get people to follow God. Whether hungry or full, rich or poor, human beings remain in rebellion against God without the power of the Gospel.”

Please be praying for transformation, mutually within the lives of the community, the members of the teams coming to serve, and within myself, Susie, and Roberto. This summer is part of the Lord’s holy plan; please pray that we will learn to rely on His Holy Spirit for complete guidance. Please pray for this upcoming week as a group of 46 come to Shiroles, and may all glory go to the Lord, always and forever.

“Declare His glory among the nations, His marvelous deeds among all peoples” Psalm 96:3