Joy in Uncertainty

It’s funny when we reflect on the past isn’t it? I was thinking about how much my life and circumstances have evolved and changed. If you told me last year that I would be living in Indiana and working at a homeless shelter I probably would have laughed. If you told me that over that year I would study in Hong Kong, visit an orphanage in the Philippines, backpack China with my sister, and maintain a long-distance relationship through it all – I probably would have laughed even more.

When I think about that, the fact that I would have NEVER guessed or even imagined what the Lord had in store for me last year I am reminded how God’s plans are so above my own. I like to think I can plan my whole life out. I like to think I can conquer this imaginary timeline of when I’m supposed to have what in my life. I like to think I can figure it all out and make the world believe I have it all together.

 

That's probably the funniest part!

The other night I was lying on the floor of my room and it struck me that I was really confused. I was reminded that I really don’t understand a lot of things. I don’t even understand myself a lot of the time – my up and down emotions, fleeting thoughts, and changing desires. In conclusion, I don’t know much of anything at all.

But my God is the God of the universe! We say this a lot, but really. The UNIVERSE. I remember learning about the universe in school and always feeling frustrated that I couldn’t wrap my head around the speed of a light-year or the size of a supergiant star. Our brains aren’t even capable of understanding the elements of God’s creation. We can grow in understanding, can learn the stories of the Bible and experience God’s love and grace – but let’s face it, we'll never fully understand the magnitude of God’s sovereignty. And the thing is, we're not created to. That's the beautiful design of the universe and the earth and all that lives within it, it is forever under the rule of it's Creator.

 

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the
purpose of the Lord  that will stand. Proverbs 19:21
 

It is good for me to stop and to remember the reality of this. We always say “God’s plan is so much bigger than our own” but really – there is so much truth in that. When it comes down to it, this life is not about me or what I desire. I can barely guess what tomorrow holds or the next year, much less the rest of my life.

 

We sure do like to try and figure it out though, don’t we? I wonder if God laughs at how much we exhaust ourselves to figure out something we do not even control. I laugh at myself when I realize just how silly that is.

So I surrender. To His plans which are so above my own. To His sovereign knowledge. To His love that overcomes and His power that triumphs. I may know nothing, but I know a God who knows all  – and that truth brings joy and victory in every uncertainty.

 

Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty,
for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you
are exalted as head above all. Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all.
In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and to
give strength to all. 1 Chronicles 29:11-12

Devotion to Uniqueness

I like to please people. I thrive off of the approval of others. I say my love language is words of affirmation, but I realize I often rely on that affirmation to feel worthy or successful. I pinch and poke at myself wanting to have the body I'm told I should have. I strive to figure out Scripture and what it means so I can have some logical breakdown of exactly how I should behave.

So I have these tendencies. After being back in America for two months, I'm reminded how much stronger these tendencies become here. The thing is - I've had this realization before. It's not something new or shocking, I knew this would happen. I expected it. So why am I finding myself still falling into this? I'm slowly falling back into the person I used to be - obsessed with physical appearance, comparing myself to every other person in the room, envying others for what they have, and allowing greed to convince me that I want and need more, more, more.

I could probably blame a lot of external factors for all of these shortcomings. I could easily blame Pinterest for envy, American media for greed, and Facebook for social comparison. I could blame the church for emphasizing teachings on prosperity and peace; and abandoning teachings on fear and judgment. I could blame the people around me for falling into the same things, for not pushing one another more fiercely towards Christ, for not inspiring me to change.

I could blame a lot of things, but the truth is it's me.

It is true that what we allow into our lives can deeply influence how we behave, how we speak, what we think, and what we will become. Ultimately though, we choose what we allow - we choose what we submit to - and we choose what we dedicate our lives to.

That's when I came to Romans 12, what did my version of the Bible decide to title this morning's reading? Just happened to be "Dedicate Your Lives to God." I would suggest everyone go and read this chapter. It is just good. It is just so so good. And I was reminded in this piece of Scripture how fleeting our lives are and the world that we live in - and how eternal God's word is. You guys! His word stays the same now and forever. In a world that is always changing, with technology that moves frighteningly fast, 24 hour news covering changes that happen every minute, and fashion that evolves with every season - we can't comprehend a God and His promises that are never-changing, permanent, and eternal. I know I can't comprehend it.

"Don't become like the people of this world. Instead, change the way you think." Romans 12:2

I wish I could give you some cool quote on how many times the Bible says "change the way you think" but I can't. All I know is I seem to run into it quite a bit. We are told to live apart from the world - so why are we striving to please it? WHY the heck am I wasting my time and energy trying to figure out the best exercises to get perfect inner thighs and the best products for perfect-looking hair? Don't get me wrong, I believe in self-care...but let's be real, we spend wa-hay too much time on this stuff. This stuff that is just SO fleeting, of NO worth to God, and not affecting ANYONE but yourself.

So maybe it's time to start paying more attention to God's word, let's see what Romans 12 says:

"I ask you not to think of yourselves more highly than you should." (v. 3)

"Don't be lazy in showing your devotion. Use your energy to serve the Lord." (v. 11)

"Don't think that you are smarter than you really are." (v. 16)

"Focus your thoughts on things that are considered noble." (v. 17)

Hm. You know, the saddest part for me in all of this is not necessarily over-consumption or materialism or obsession with physical appearance. I guess the saddest part is that we have allowed this world to brainwash us into thinking there are only certain kinds of worth. We degrade ourselves because we believe certain things are better to have than others. The man who owns a large home is more successful than the one who humbly leads a large family. The woman who owns the best brands and high-end items is "better off" than the woman who can knit and create her own clothes. The student who earns a PhD is more intelligent than the one who dropped out of school to master their artwork or music.

The thing is - never in Scripture are we told that certain gifts are better than others. On the contrary, we are told that we are one body. We are to cherish each others gifts, not judge some as better than others.

"Christ makes us one body and individuals who are connected to each other.

God in his kindness gave each of us different gifts." (v. 5)

"Be devoted to each other like a loving family.

Excel in showing respect for each other." (v. 10)

I'm so bad at appreciating the diversity of God's body. I so badly want to have one formula for how to be, one formula for how to do things. The fact that there are so many different types of people and ways to do life poses an additional challenge for us as believers. We are not to expect others to be gifted in the way that we deem admirable. Likewise, we are not to place an expectation on ourselves to fit the mold of what others place on us. In both ways I fall short.

This morning I was reminded. I was reminded that I am not here to dedicate my life, my time, my energy to the world. I am here to dedicate my life to God and with that comes the devotion to the unique gifts that God has given me and devotion to uplifting others in the unique gifts given to them. So let's not cut ourselves short, expecting each other to fit into one similar mold. That's boring anyway; and I think if you were to look at God's creation - His crafting of diverse people groups, thousands of unique species, a majestic universe - I think you'll see that His plan was never meant to be mainstream or boring.

"If your gift is speaking what God has revealed, make sure what you say agrees with the Christian faith. If your gift is serving, then devote yourself to serving. If it is teaching, devote yourself to teaching. If it is encouraging others, devote yourself to giving encouragement. If it is sharing, be generous. If it is leadership, lead enthusiastically. If it is helping people in need, help them cheerfully." (v. 6-8)

So what are your gifts? And where is your devotion?